Gome of the Week
Hey, that's less than a dollar a minute!
Oh, wait, no, it's more than a dollar a minute. That's what I meant.
This Week's Link That's Probably Not That Great
New D.Q.T.'s Neighborhood - Episode 9 - 15 minutes of pure Butter.
This Week's Movie You've Probably Never Seen
Prison Stories: Women on the Inside (1991)
No caged heat here.
Instead, you get three vignettes, each by a different director, telling the "stories" of "women" who are "on the inside" of "prison." See what I did there?
The first segment features a thugged-out Rae Dawn Chong copping street slang while pregnant and smoking crack in a women's penetentiary. Yes, it's the role she was born to play. Annabella Sciorra plays her best friend who got busted and locked up at the same time, and though they've been best friends forever, will the prison system tear them apart? Yes, yes it will. One of them (not telling which!) falls in with a lesbian prison gang, becomes a drug mule, and spends considerable time in "the hole," if you know what I mean. I mean solitary confinement, you ghoul.
The second story is about a hispanic woman behind bars who doesn't give a shit about her kid and it was severely depressing. Though it did feature - and this unlisted on IMDb, I might add - an early role from Raymond "Tuco" Cruz of Breaking Bad fame. He plays an eccentric, happy-go-lucky crack dealer.
The third one stars Lolita Davidovich, who I recognize from somewhere but I can't for the life of me remember where. Doesn't matter, though it's kind of killing me and I may not sleep tonight. Anyway, she killed her abusive husband and has been in prison for years, but when her parole hearing approaches, she's not especially stoked. Why? Because she is, as prison-folk say, "safe in the cage," meaning she'd rather be behind bars then deal with her bitchy teenage daughter. Been there, sister.
Here's a clip from the middle segment. It has inspired me to not end up in a women's prison.
This Week's Record You're Probably Not Listening To
Dan Troxell - At the Piano (1974)
Autographed copy! What's up now?
This album is called At the Piano, and as you can see, Dan there is actually at the piano. So far so good.
This LP is big-time private press - it's got nothing on the back of the sleeve and the label is Keyboard Klassics and features a clearly hand-drawn logo.
And Dan's not fucking around. Dude does a mean version of "Danny Boy."
This Week's Hip New Slang Word or Phrase
go the opposite way with power - A sweet baseball phrase, also used to describe an ostensibly straight person who you could see being very good at being gay.
Origin - Closeted hitting coaches.
Usage - "Dude, what is the deal with Julian?
"Dude, what do you mean?"
"Dude, does he really have a girlfriend?"
"Dude, absolutely. But between you and me, dude, if you filled him full of Zimas and put on some show tunes, I bet he'd go the opposite way with power."
This Week's Top Ten List
The Top Ten Nicknames for Redheads:
08. Strawberry-dipped lady fingers
07. Massive Head Wound Harry
06. Miata noggin
05. Radish knuckles
04. Dirty drunk Irishman
03. Rhubarb groin
02. Big Red, that shitty gum no one likes
01. The Noid
Cancel One Career