03.06.13

Gome of the Week
Oh, stop it.

 

 

 

 

 

 

This Week's Link That's Probably Not That Great
A Talking Cat!?! trailer - Eric Roberts plays the cat.

 

This Week's Movie You've Probably Never Seen
Mission of Justice (1992)

You can tangle with Jeff Wincott, but be warned: you will be kicked.

Wincott is oiled up and ready for full-frontal foot-to-face action in this awesome movie that was probably a blast for everyone involved, except for Brigitte Nielsen, who was fresh off of 976-EVIL II and presumably more than a little concerned about her career trajectory.

Though this film did reunite her with her Rocky IV costar Tony "Throw the Damn Towel!" Burton, so that must have been a nice treat/reminder of just how far she'd fallen.

Wincott plays a cop who goes rogue after becoming fed up with the system (yes, that is the jumping-off point for 90% of these movies), at which point he hands in his badge, removes his shirt, greases himself up real good, and finds a pair of jeans roomy enough for some serious kickery. When an old pal turns up dead and he pins the murder on mayoral candidate Dr. Rachel K. Larkin and this weird cult she's in charge of, the feet really start flying.

There's even some lady kicking in this flick, with Karen Sheperd turning in a powerful performance as Wincott's cop partner, a woman who likes to bust thugs by repeatedly introducing the bottom of her foot to the front of their necks.

This movie is riddled with plot holes and elements that just flat-out don't make sense, but when you see a five-minute segment of Wincott taking out a roomful of trained assassins using only those magician's-wands-on-steroids he's holding up there, it can be easy to forgive and forget small flaws and/or giant, glaring omissions. There's nothing Wincott can't kick his way out of.

Here is the trailer. The best kicks are at the end.

 

 

 

This Week's Record You're Probably Not Listening To
Fredi - Rakkauden Sinfonia (1973)

He's "Meathead" with the voice of an angel.

And he does the best Finnish cover of Elton John's "Yellow Brick Road" I've ever heard.

I can't find that, but here is the title track. It will sound familiar to you. And you'll be amazed that that voice came out of that dude.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

This Week's Hip New Slang Word or Phrase
laying out these zeroes like a goose-egg farm - A sweet way to describe how well you're defeating the competition.

Origin - It was in a rap I wrote that I decided was shitty, except for this part, which was too shitty for rap but good enough for a slang word. I think.

Usage - "Oh, dude. I've been down at the courts. You know, playing some ball."

"Back at the senior center again, huh, dude? How's the old-man competition?"

"Dude, I've been laying out these zeroes like a goose-egg farm."

"Dude, didn't your grandpa die in that place last year?"

 

This Week's Top Ten List

The Top Ten Ways to Pronounce "GIF":

10. Jif
09. Jeff
08. Give
07. Cliff
06. Gefilte fish
05. Def
04. Griff
03. Gist
02. Gary
01. Glyph

 

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