Gome of the Week
"...the lowest rated scripted series premiere in the history of major broadcast television."
Ouch. Two and they're out!
This Week's Link That's Probably Not That Great
Man apparently loves Brenda - Been there, bro.
This Week's Movie You've Probably Never Seen
Lovers Lane (2000)
I actually saw a preview for this movie a few weeks back when I was watching a different movie for the site, which was weird because I own this movie and was getting ready to watch it anyway, but even weirder when the preview tipped me off that it's set on Valentine's Day, so it all just kind of lined up perfectly.
Isn't that cosmic?
That ended up being the most enjoyable part of this movie, because watching it was a struggle. Well, I shouldn't say that. It wasn't total diarrhea. More of a loose-stool situation.
This came out before Anna Farris hit the big-time, so that would explain why she's in this movie and there's no mention of her on the cover. The dude who played Les Nessman is also in this, and he doesn't get top billing either, which must have hurt him quite a bit.
This is one of those "years ago some kids got murdered in this one spot and the killer's been in a mental institution since then, but now he's broken out and needs to finish the job" movies, so you know what's going to happen from the get-go.
They try to mix it up with some weird family connections between the killer - who's got a hook for a hand, natch - and his victims, but it just ends up being confusing because they get a little to deep with it and I'm not watching a flick like this to keep track of who somebody's half-brother is. I just want to see some young shirtless people in the back of a car get a hook through their trachea, and it did deliver on that front. I'll give it one hook sideways!
Here's the trailer. Good god, the turn of the century is starting to look dated.
This Week's Record You're Probably Not Listening To
The Young Life Singers - Under the Influence (196?)
I cannot remember where I got this record, but I somehow have a sealed copy of it, and I'm not going to open it because I don't feel like it.
This looks to be your run-of-the-mill Jesus record, but there are a few notable things about it. First, It features a cover of a Who song, "See Me," and somehow they equate Tommy (the deaf, dumb, and blind kid) with people who have not yet found god.
The second thing that I thought was a bit odd is that it was recorded at the Record Plant in L.A., which is where tons of famous albums were recorded. Add another one to the list!
This Week's Hip New Slang Word or Phrase
Weacon Jones - A sweet way to refer to a dude who looks like he'd be strong but is actually mad weak.
Origin - Deacon Jones, though he is actually strong. His wimpy doppleganger is Weacon.
Usage - "Oh, dude. Can you give me hand with this couch?"
"Dude, you asked the right guy."
"Dude, the couch is crushing your toes. Can I call you Weacon Jones?"
"Dude, yes, but not in front of chicks."
This Week's Top Ten List
The Top Ten New Popes:
10. Yahoo Serious
09. A jar of pimento-stuffed olives
08. My mechanic, Keith
07. Greg Luzinski
06. A canned ham
05. My VHS copy of Screwball Academy
04. That Madball that was a human eye
03. Connie Sellecca
02. The Dog-Faced Gremlin, Rick Steiner
01. A pair of L'eggs, still in the egg
Cancel One Career