Gome of the Week
Stop saying things.











This Week's Link That's Probably Not That Great
Wockenfuss on Tumblr - I've been scanning the shit out of some old wrestling magazines recently.


This Week's Movie You've Probably Never Seen
Malarek (1989)

Two good movies in two weeks! I'm on a roll. I feel like a real cinephile. But, I'm also hoping to break that streak next week. Need to get back to basics. Shouldn't be a problem.

This is the "true" story of Victor Malarek, a Canadian journalist who would go on to write books and do a bunch of other stuff. This movie concentrates on his come-up.

Malarek is played by the always awesome Elias "Stop Calling Me Stabler" Koteas, fresh off his celebrated turn as a skinhead in Some Kind of Wonderful. (Actually it was a few years after that. I just wanted an excuse to mention it because he is great in that movie and that movie is also great and the world is a better place for having experienced Lea Thompson in 1987.)

Malarek sorts the mail at the local newspaper, but he's got aspirations of becoming a reporter. He gets his wish, but on his first assignment he witnesses a cop cold-blood killing an unarmed teenager who had just escaped a boy's home.

What a scoop! The problem, of course, is that no one believes him, and it's his word against the cop's. Also, it turns out he spent his formative years in the same facility the kid busted out of, and he knows first-hand the gnarly shit that goes down there. After digging deeper, he finds one of the kids that the dead kid was on the run with, and he uncovers a citywide conspiracy that's aiming to keep all this juvenile abuse under wraps.

Since Malarek is from the streets, he's able to call in some favors, track down some leads, and bust the shit wide open, but not before being harassed by the cops, fired from his job at the paper, and almost getting killed like six times, his LBST blowing in the breeze the whole time. It's intense.

Annnnnnd I can't find a trailer for it. Nuts.




This Week's Record You're Probably Not Listening To
Ed Nottle - To Baseball with Love (1983)

This is not a picture of the exact copy I have, though mine is also autographed. It's addressed to someone named Kathy.

Ed Nottle is a minor-league legend (or so the internet has told me), and apparently a fan of the Chairman of the Board. After looking at that cover - and the labels on the vinyl, which are baseballs - that this record would have something to do with our national pasttime. Instead, it's Nottle just straight-up doing a Sinatra impression on old standards.

He dedicates "Welcome to My World" to Billy Martin.




This Week's Hip New Slang Word or Phrase
chain stroking - A sweet thing to call a marathon masturbation session where you just don't stop.

Origin - I don't know. This guy?

Usage - "Oh, dude. What's your plan for today?"

"Dude, I don't know. Might run some errands or something."

"And dude, by that I assume you mean you'll be chain stroking it all day."

"Dude, pretty much."


This Week's Top Ten List

The Top Ten Ways to Misspell "Urethra"

10. Yourwreathruh
09. Yrreethrra
08. Yurreathraa
07. Reethreezity
06. Uri Geller
05. You're Keith, huh?
04. Ether? Rah!
03. Your booth is ready
02. Reeth out and and ra someone
01. Uromysitisis


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