Gome of the Week
Mike Love: Music's resident crap bag.
This Week's Movie You've Probably Never Seen
Killing Cars (1986)
Does anyone ever enjoy watching foreign-language films that are dubbed? Just gimme the subtitles. Yeah, it's a littlle more work, but I'd rather hear the intended inflection than some crystal-clear recording of someone in a sound studio sleepwalking through lines so they can make it home in time for The Joker's Wild.
They showed the trailer for the original La Femme Nikita before this flick, and that actually gave me some hope for the feature presentation. But it only took about ten minutes for me to realize that the scope of the story that Michael "No Relation to Paul" Verhoeven was trying to tell was way too huge for a movie with this budget, especially when it's starring Jurgen Prochnow, who spends 100 minutes looking like he just woke up from a nap and can't find his paycheck.
At its core, this is a movie about a dude who has invented a car that doesn't run on gas, and who must stop a bunch of outside influences from not only stealing his idea/prototype, but also killing him, because he won't give it up. The problem is, the outside influences are many (displaced workers, oil magnates, gangsters), and there's just not enough time to present them as anything anyone would fear and/or give a shit about. So, the whole thing ends up being a mess, and as usual, I lost track of who was who about 45 minutes in, and never really bothered to recover.
There were, however, two good things about this movie: First, the car itself is super-sweet in a perfectly 1986 sort of way, and they drive the shit out of it - around tracks, through the desert, around the city - and while I'm not a car guy, I do have a strange fascination with automobiles that don't actually exist.
The other shining light in this plodding sea of making-me-sleepy was Marina Larsen, in what was apparently her only movie role. I had no idea who she was before I saw this, but good god. I'd like to link to a picture of her, but I can't find one where she has a shirt on, so you can do that yourself.
Here's the way-too-long Danish "trailer" for the movie. It should properly confuse the shit out of you.
This Week's Record You're Probably Not Listening To
V/A - 20 Aerobic Country Hits (198?)
Who's ready for a double-LP set of shoddy rehashings of your favorite country songs, complete with a lady talking over them? Come on! She'll tell you how to pull off sweet moves like "The Funky Filly," "The Jailhouse Jump," "Wild West Wiggles," and "Wichita Toe Touches"!
Does it seem weird to anyone else that the dueling banjo jam from Deliverance is on this thing? Because it is. And I know nothing gets me in the mood for deep knee bends like picturing Ned Beatty grabbing his ankles and crying.
This Week's Hip New Slang Word or Phrase
Say, you've got a hot Irish temper - A sweet way to tell someone they've got anger issues. Bonus points if they're actually Irish.
Origin - Artie Kendall.
Usage - "Oh, dude. Where have you been?"
"Dude, back off! I've been wherever the hell I was, with whoever the hell I was with, dude!"
"Say, you've got a hot Irish temper."
"Dude, I'm going to feed you your own face."
This Week's Top Ten List
The Top Ten Things I Think Pinterest Is, Though I Actually Have No Clue What It's For:
10. A place where girls share recipes for things they eventually lie about making and enjoying
09. A place for moms to share the shirtless Joseph Gordon-Levitt photos they paw themselves to when their kids are napping
08. I don't know - like a coupon site or some shit?
07. A place where you can create your own hilarious custom push pins with phrases like "Push it good!" and "I'm stuck on you"
06. A safe place for teens who are entering womanhood and have no idea what that phrase means, implies, or suggests
05. A hub for frumpies who use phrases like "chocoholic coma" and "sinfully delish"
04. Cake porn
03. A forum for the discussion of the finer points of full-body Spanx
02. A hosting site for videos of people who start doing crafts but then descend quickly into an orgy of stuffing their mouths with Elmer's glue and popsicle sticks
01. A great place to give up
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