Gome of the Week
Hey, that's a face a quirky girl would make!
This Week's Link That's Probably Not That Great
Cut Chemist's Vinyl Collection - Dude has his records organized by label. I am in awe.
This Week's Movie You've Probably Never Seen
The Killer Next Door (2002)
This has got to be the newest movie I've watched for this site in years. Not sure why that matters, but I thought I'd put that out there. Don't expect it to be a trend. I'm much more comfortable in the mid-to-late 80's.
If you can't tell from that shitty, entirely misleading cover, the star of this flick is a young Adam Scott, who has since gone on to be a dick in Stepbrothers, bang Leslie Knope on Parks & Recreation, and star in one of the funniest parody ads of all time.
Here he gets his drama on, in a movie that was actually legitimately good. But man: the director of this movie must have been soooo pissed about the way the suits fucked with this thing. it's a dark movie, but it's by no means a horror flick. It's just an indie movie about some bad shit that happens. It's kind of hard to explain, but along with the cover (which of course features a scene that never happens and a knife that he never holds), there are also two scenes tacked onto the beginning and end of the movie that make absolutely no sense, and were clearly not the work of the original auteur.
It was maddening to me. It must have been infuriating for director Chris Haifley, who would never direct another film. And that's a shame, because though this is a low-budget affair, it actually had me engrossed, stressed, and genuinely interested in what was going to happen. And if you read this site every Wednesday, you know that's rare.
I'm not going to rehash the plot because it's complicated and I don't feel like it, but if you're in the mood for a troubling indie movie that is sometimes funny, but mostly just because of how fucked-up it is, I think I could actually recommend this one.
Though you might have to find it under its original title, Ronnie. Yeah, it's one of those movies. The bigwigs wouldn't even let the poor guy keep his title. Jesus. What a bunch of dicks. Oh, but Brian Austin Green is in it, credited as "Brian A. Green." So that classes it up a bit.
Here's the trailer, which is even more confusing because it features scenes that weren't in the movie and then claims at the end that it's a true story. Man, I would love to know the story behind this thing. I bet it's depressing.
This Week's Record You're Probably Not Listening To
Musique - Keep on Jumpin' (1978)
If I had actually lived through disco, I doubt I'd have such a playful affection for it. As it stands, I'm infatuated by any genre of music where gals wearing shorts over their swimsuits could crank out an eight-minute track called "In the Bush" while wearing metallic baseball hats, and get that shit played on Soul Train.
It's not my thing, but sometimes I have no trouble understanding why people love cocaine so much. It must have been a magical time. You know, before everybody ran out of money and self-respect.
This Week's Hip New Slang Word or Phrase
notable dode - A sweet way to describe a dode who, despite countless obstacles, manages to become well-known.
Origin - Guy Fieri, Ke$ha, the cast of Entourage, etc.
Usage - "Oh, dude. Where have you been?"
"Dude, I've been watching Tower Heist, the newest film from notable dode Brett Ratner."
"Dude, that sounds like a terrible experience."
"Dude, I am definitely dodier for having done that."
This Week's Top Ten List
The Top Ten Things I Did When My New iPhone 5 Came in the Mail Today:
10. Sprung a boner
09. Took the shrinkwrap off, ate it
08. Went down to the bus stop and flaunted it in front of the destitute
07. Gave my wife a 30-minute presentation on the advantages of the new Lightning connector
06. Ripped open the box and threw it at my dog, who just wanted to say hello
05. Posted "IPHONE 4S ARE FOR SHITBAGS" to all my social networks
04. Fondled it, teased it, caressed it
03. Told friends they can look at it, but touching it will cost them a cracked jaw
02. Called my neighbor a dildo because he's rocking a Samsung or some garbage like that
01. Greased it up real good and crammed it
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