Gome of the Week
Anybody else hear any hilarious "Movin' on up to a deluxe apartment in the sky" jokes today?

I mean, LOL, am I right?

I might even go as far as to ROFL.

They were all just that funny!








This Week's Link That's Probably Not That Great
The Virtual Museum of Vintage VCRs - And so much more.


This Week's Movie You've Probably Never Seen
Ghost Writer (1989)

Audrey Landers? Yes. Judy Landers? Uh, yes. Rated PG? Nooooo!

While most 80's sexpots were tease, tease, tease until Hugh Hefner rolled around with some dough for a celebrity spread and then the top couldn't have dropped quicker, the Landers sisters were the rare breed who managed to do all of that, except for the dropping the top part. Yes, they posed for Playboy in a non-nude pictorial. Just to be jerks.

That was in '83, and their wholesome brand of cleavage continued through the 80's, as this madcap comedy proves. At one point in this flick, Joey Travolta says the word "butthole," but that's about as far as it goes. Oh, and Judy Landers does do a striptease, but it's dark and she's such a pro at covering herself that it barely registers.

I just realized this is starting to sound like a disgruntled review that would probably be right at home on the Mr. Skin forums. Sorry. If it helps, I feel dirty, too.

If you ever wondered where Jeff Conaway ended up after he left Taxi, it was in movies like this. Seeing him sharing scenes with Joey Travolta, a decade after he and John Travolta were in Grease, is depressing. Especially considering that John was riding high on the wave of the Look Who's Talking craze of '89. Rough stuff. Of course, seeing Joey Travolta at all is pretty sad, but when you throw in John "Sloth" Matuszak in one of his final roles, as well as The Barbarian Brothers and a bit role for Eric "Garbage Day" Freeman, you've actually got yourself a fun little cast.

Though Neil Barton probably didn't think so. It was his first film role, and his character is listed in the credits as "Black Dude." Yikes.

Anyway. Audrey plays a reporter who needs to get away somewhere quiet to do her writing, and she ends up in her aunt's house, which she soon finds out is haunted by the ghost of a former Hollywood startlet, Billie, played by Judy. Billie was always thought to have comitted suicide, but she's come back to tell the story of how she was murdered. What a scoop!

Apparently she's the kind of ghost who gets to decide who can see her, which worked very conveniently for every aspect of the story, and was just the kind of flawed attention to detail you'd expect from a movie in which Joey Travolta has a LBST in a ponytail.

I can't find a trailer for this movie (I guess it's never been released on DVD and is semi-rare), but some weird perv uploaded a foreign-language-dubbed, 30-second clip of Audrey making out with Conaway, so you can watch that if you want.



This Week's Record You're Probably Not Listening To
Tom Juravich - Rising Again: Union Songs for the 80's (1983)

Juravich isn't just some rabble-rouser. This guy is apparentlly an expert on unions and a furious strummer, and I gotta say: the man can write some catchy songs about rough situations.

And, he included lyrics, chord sheets so you can play these at your own picket lines, and resources for how to make the most of your own union. I'm labor-idiotic and barely understand some of the points he makes, but it all seems appropriately inspirational.

So go to hell, you scab!



This Week's Hip New Slang Word or Phrase
feeling suddenly dysentery - A sweet way to daintily describe your physical state right before you are about to poop water. Extra points if you exclaim it like a Southern lass.

Origin - Shaky Premise?

Usage - "Oh, dude. That was some great clam chowder."

"Dude, mine was a little rancid."

"Dude, then why did you wolf it down like you hadn't eaten in weeks?"

"Dude, I do dee-clayah! I must admit I'm feeling suddenly dysentery. Dude, mah word!"


This Week's Top Ten List

The Top Ten Screen Names I Anonymously Use On the Internet:

09. davidcassidyfan1953
08. Down4JesusandAnal
07. DodeMode_Bro
06. Requiem4aDreamRulez420
05. AssPissSituation1
04. gandalf_humper
03. LenyKravitztouchedmypeenie_1926
02. Yoda_FaNtAzEeZ
01. Hairy-Pooter

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