05.16.12

Gome of the Week
Ringo Starr revealed this week that he took tons of photos during the early days of the Beatles, but he has since lost them. His excuse: "There's been several moves and things happen."

Coincidentally, that's the same excuse I used for misplacing some dubbed cassettes when I was 20. So I can see where he's coming from.

Ringo, you scamp!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

This Week's Link That's Probably Not That Great
Inhabitants of the White Sea - What a world!

 

This Week's Movie You've Probably Never Seen
Extreme Justice (1993)

Best movie title ever? Very possibly.

When it comes to people who got shit out the bottom of Hollywood and just kept on workin', Lou Diamond Phillips is right up there with Michael Madsen. Lou has 106 credits on IMDb, and if you can name five of his movies that aren't Young Guns (1 or 2), La Bamba, or Stand and Deliver, then consider yourself either a huge movie buff or a hopeless loser.

This was early in Phillips' straight-to-video transition, so he's still balls-to-the-wall in this thing, hoping to showcase his chops, which is tough in a movie like this. Sample conversation between him and his partner (he's a cop) during a car chase where he's driving like a maniac and putting hundreds of lives at risk:

Partner: "You're crazy man! What do you think you're doing?"

Phillips: "Getting the job done!"

Ouch. He's also referred to as a "loose cannon" in this movie. So, needless to say, I ate it all up as fast as they could dish it out, and loved every minute of this movie.

Glenn is his understated stallion self as a veteran cop who runs a hush-hush task force by day, and drinks until he can't feel his feelings at night. He heads up this secret group of lunatics whose only job is to track serial criminals, catch them in the act, and then stop them from comitting any more crimes. Needless to say, they usually skip the arrest, judge, and jury, and make a quick move to the execution portion of the proceedings. Jeff (Phillips) is a troubled cop who keeps fucking up his regualar gig, but he also - as he mentioned - gets the job done, so he's recruited for the elite squad.

It's not tough to see where this thing is going: Jeff finds out the guys he's working with are corrupt, he can't live with himself, blah blah blah. But it's how they get there that's the fun in this thing. There's tons of sweet shootouts, lots of badass cop talk, and even a young Stephen Root, fresh off his powerhouse performance in Robocop 3. I couldn't ask for much more.

Here's the trailer. It's not quite as extreme as I had hoped, but you do get to see some justice, so that's cool.

 

 

This Week's Record You're Probably Not Listening To
Toni Noichl - Memories of Germany (1977)

The zither, much like the harp, looks like such a hassle to play, tune, carry around, and just generally deal with that I have mad respect for any weirdo that is considered skilled at the instrument.

Toni here is scaring the shit out of me with his eyebrows, but his lilting melodies on classic tracks like "Wien Wien Nur Du Allein" and "Haushammer" lead me to believe that his brow may be softer than the push-broom bristles that I envision jutting from his skull.

Though if you shave that beard off of him, he's a dead ringer for Garagamel. I'm torn.

 

 

 

 

This Week's Hip New Slang Word or Phrase
He was a slack-jawed little rat, and all rats have to suck the pipe, baby. - A sweet way to describe how you're going to kill someone because they turned against you.

Origin - Dennis Miller's Black & White.

Usage - "Oh, dude. You wanna go seeThe Avengers with me for the eleventh time?"

"Dude, I thought that guy who you work with at Orange Julius was going to go with you."

"Dude, he punked out on me after showing number nine, and then got on the message boards and told everyone I started lobbin' when Hawkeye made his first appearance. But he's a slack-jawed little rat, and all rats have to suck the pipe, baby."

"Dude, indeed they do."

 

This Week's Top Ten List

The Top Ten Reasons to See Battleship:

10. Blammo!
09. Kablooey!
08. Ker-Pow!
07. Missles!
06. Water-Plode!
05. Boom-a-Frama-Lama!
04. Liam Neeson!
03. Bloom-Blam!
02. Nautical-Ouch!
01. Ree-Anna!

Cancel One Career