Gome of the Week
Between the Lou Reed/Metallica thing and this idiocy, I'd say Chickenfoot has established itself as the most respectable modern supergroup.

You were due, Michael Anthony.







This Week's Link That's Probably Not That Great
Back 4 The Future - If we can't afford the shoes, at least we can virtually ogle them. Put dates in the time machine and fun stuff happens.


This Week's Movie You've Probably Never Seen
Iced (1988)

Prism, you've done it again. Do me a solid, folks. If you ever see any of these tapes while you're out and about, pick them up for me. It's time I became a casual Prism collector. I've already got a small stash; I might as well keep it going.

This flick, aside from having one of the sweetest titles in film history, was one of the better movies I've watched for the site in a while. It had it all: shaky camera work, a girl taking an icicle to the eye socket, a coked-up dude with a LBST in a ponytail, and the girl who played Wednesday on The Addams Family TV show getting electrified to death while skinny-dipping solo in a hot tub. All that and so much more.

The movie starts with a time-honored 80's tradition: the ski race to see who gets the chick. There's no backstory to go on, but one of the guys is clearly the dick. He wins, gets the girl, the other dude is shattered, and he kills himself. Jump-cut to four years later, and the girl and the race-winner guy are still together, headed back up to the same mountain to meet some friends and hear a pitch on a timeshare.

Blow is huffed, slopes are skied, and the dude who committed suey seems to be back and murdering the shit out of people. As with most of these flicks, there's more suspense than actual entrail emptying, but as things progress and the killer starts getting more brash, he starts pulling sweet moves like hiding in the back seat of one of the dude's cars and stabbing him through the neck with his ski pole, through the headrest. Yes, it doesn't make any sense at all. But neither does the fact that after he shoves the icicle into the girl's brain through her eye hole while she's on the side of the house, she all of a sudden ends up in the car with the throat-stabbed guy.

There's plenty of other awesome stuff like that. They eventually figure out that the guy in their old friend's ski suit is the same guy trying to sell them the cabin they're staying in. He was pals with the guy who killed himself, and he's out for revenge or something. So they kill him, and then two years later after the original couple are married and have a kid, he pops out of a snowman they're building and the movie ends.

Just fantastic. Of course I can't find the trailer, but here's a clip of a scene and there's a video review here from a guy who didn't like it. He's way off.





This Week's Record You're Probably Not Listening To
Widowmaker - Widowmaker (1976)

Speaking of supergroups and sweet names, here's a band that gets the job done on both fronts. Featuring one of the guys from Mott the Hoople and some other dudes from other bands, these guys were not afraid to stick a jackhammer into a wall until it bled orange paint, attach a hose to it, and then seductively pose with said hose mid-cigarette.

I think this band may have been big in the UK, but apparently they're not as well-known over here. But if you like Bad Company deep cuts, you might like this. My favorite jam is "Straight Faced Fighter," which appears to be about unsanctioned hobo fights.





This Week's Hip New Slang Word or Phrase
Ridiculi Volkoff - A sweet way to describe something monumentally ridiculous.

Origin - Think I heard it on Sklarbro Country.

Usage - "Oh, dude. This new fall TV season is shaping up to be world-altering."

"Dude, I don't know if I'd go that far."

"Dude, NBC's Whitney is a show for my generation and I intend on quitting my job to blog about it full time."

"Dude, that is Ridiculi Volkoff."


This Week's Top Ten List

The Top Ten Most Impressive Ways to Sustain a Head Injury:

10. Taking a Jai-alai ball to the eye socket during a high-stakes match
09. Getting your skull run over by a really sweet car, like a super cherry 'Vette or something
08. Pretending you're Batman, cape-glide steez, and really overestimating your trajectory
07. Head-butting a famous statue
06. Pissing off a shylock until he vices up your cranium, you deadbeat
05. Getting knocked unconscious by a bat once used by Bob Horner
04. While trying to wear an old rusty microwave as a space helmet
03. Taking a guitar to the head from the Honky Tonk Man, or maybe just a drunk guy who kind of looked like him
02. Getting crushed by your own pillowcase full of batteries during a Radio Shack heist gone wrong
01. Watching the E! Network for more than six minutes - Hiyooooooo!


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