07.13.11
Gome of the Week
Will this grassroots campaign single-handedly take down the world's most popular movie rental service?
Only time will tell.
But, no. No it won't.
Also: I hate society.
This Week's Link That's Probably Not That Great
Better Call Saul - He can help you.
This Week's Movie You've Probably Never Seen
Rebel Run (1998)
It's been a few weeks since I've watched a movie with Michael Ironside in it, which is surprising, because about half of my current queue of VHS tapes seem to co-star the grand ol' bastard. I was let down, because IMDb has him listed as being in last week's movie, but he never showed up in it. So, I was overdue for a Side of Iron.
Add two of the most notoriously canceled careers in Hollywood history to the mix, and you've got yourself a movie that I couldn't wait to not enjoy.
Here's the thing about Richard Grieco: he's one of the oiliest brutes to ever grease up a cut-rate Canadian movie set, and he's fully aware of it. It's 1998 and the dude's shirtless under a leather vest with two huge hoop earrings danglin'. Just glistening.
But it's Sean Young that really stands out in her electrifying performance as an actress in need of a paycheck. She plays Patty Deerheart, a with-child Native American woman trying to protect her family while chugging a mouthful of Grieco whenever they can sneak out to the barn together. Young is caked with bronzer, wearing a Value Village-quality wig, and copping a borderline-racist accent that comes and goes, depending on how well she can remember her lines. At one point I'm pretty sure I saw her ask a key grip for "bennies."
Grieco plays Bolt, a reformed biker-gang misfit who ends up on the Deerheart family farm when his hog breaks down. When the local Hell's Angels knockoffs try to get the clan to give up their land, Bolt infiltrates their ranks, double-crosses them, and ends up on the bad side of Billy Niles, played to bleach-blond perfection by Ironside. He's in full psycho mode, and attempting to make up for all the hacky performances surrounding him. It's a pleasure to watch.
He and Grieco end up motorcyle jousting at the end, going at each other with a crowbar and a length of chain, respectively. I was hoping to see Grieco get his wig peeled back, but no such luck. My god, this movie was greasy.
Check the trailer here.
This Week's Record You're Probably Not Listening To
Robbie Robinson - Come to Me (1975)
Can you say mid-70's private press LP from Beavercreek, Oregon? This thing's a gem. Robbie fancies himself a John Denver disciple, and he plays the role to some critical acclaim, although with a notably increased number of weed references. But he's got the haircut dialed.
Highlights include "Let Me Touch You with My Music," "Beavercreek Bound," and "Robbie Livingston Seagull," in which he equates being a seagull and flying really high with blazing some of the sweetest NW greenery he can get his hands on. And it is awesome.
This Week's Hip New Slang Word or Phrase
ballahol - A sweet way to describe what you're addicted to when you're a ballaholic.
Origin - E-40's fat belly.
Usage - "Oh, dude. You seem all amped up."
"Well dude, if you must know, I've been chugging ballahol all day."
"Dude, that would explain why you are balling so hard right now."
"Dude, I don't want to worry you, but I think I might be a ballaholic. Now let me ball!"
This Week's Top Ten List
The Top Ten Alternatives to The Carefree Highway:
10. The Butt Juice Expressway
09. The Soul Crushingly Complicated Thruway
08. The Blood-Flooded Sideroad
07. The Asspiss Parkway
06. The Manlove Toll Road
05. The Decapitation Interstate
04. The Taint Buffery Thoroughfare
03. The Curious Byway
02. The Festering, Rancid Scenic Route
01. The Spiked Leather Jockstrap Turnpike
Cancel One Career
