12.26.10
Gome of the Week
And 15-year-old me can finally rest easy.
Justice has been served.
This Week's Link That's Probably Not That Great
World's Largest Gummy Bears - Open wide.
This Week's Movie You've Probably Never Seen
Silent Night, Deadly Night 5: The Toy Maker (1991)
Sorry about the watermark there. I'm usually better than that.
In the final installment of a series that should have been put to rest after the ultra-brilliance that was "garbage day," the inevitable happens: Mickey Rooney shows up as a drunk toy maker who gets his rocks off hurting kids with evil toys that he makes, sells, and somehow never get traced back to him. Really that's simplifying the story a bit, but not by much.
Clint Howard makes an appearance as Ricky, even though he died in the previous film, which has led to internet speculation that this is actually a prequel to Part 4. And if I believed for a second that the filmmakers had the wherewithal to pull that off, I might buy it, but of course, it's canceled by the fact that the main girl from the previous movie also shows up - with the same name - but she now somehow has a ten-year-old son. Clearly, these aren't the movies to look to if you want any sort of clarity. And that's fine.
Because what it's really all about is Mickey Rooney chugging Jack Daniels straight from the bottle and having a robotic son that he keeps under a trap door in his toy store. They try to play up a Geppetto/Pinnochio sort of angle (the characters are even named Petto and Pino), but it's more sad than anything. Kind of like Rooney himself.
After the boringness of Part 3 and the bizarreness of Part 4, I found this one to be a welcome change. Plus, I always enjoy seeing what it takes to finally cancel a franchise of films that never should have been one in the first place. Screwdriver to the head of a custom-built robot son? That'll do it.
Check the trailer and watch out for the rogue rollerblades.
This Week's Record You're Probably Not Listening To
Rappin' is Fundamental - The Doo-Hop Legacy (1991)
After Big Daddy Kane and before Puff Daddy (or whatever) Easy Mo Bee attempted to fuse rap and doo-wop, and the result was this: an LP that doesn't sound a whole lot different than the vocal-heavy new jack stuff that was coming out around this time anyway.
Of course, tracks like "Highway to Heaven" weren't exactly as edgy as some of the other joints floating around. And, you really have to wonder if having the word "Doo" in your album title was the right move. Eh. You live, you learn.
This Week's Hip New Slang Word or Phrase
Goons. Hired goons. - A sweet way to categorize interchangeable dudes.
Origin - Simpsons, as per usual.
Usage - "Oh, dude. This party is bro-town central."
"Dude, so many bros with baseball caps and pre-tattered jeans."
"Dude, look at those sweet bros over there."
"Dude. Nothing more than goons. Hired goons."
This Week's Top Ten List
BTB's Top Ten Albums of 2010:
10. Eminem - Recovery
09. Teenage Fanclub - Shadows
08. The New Pornographers -Together
07. M.I.A. - /\/\/\Y/\
06. Vampire Weekend - Contra
05. Sleigh Bells - Treats
04. The Soft Pack - The Soft Pack
03. Superchunk - Majesty Shredding
02. Ghostface Killah - Apollo Kids
01. Big Boi - Sir Lucious Left Foot: The Son of Chico Dusty
Check out the full, detailed breakdown of my Top 20 here.
BTB's Top Ten Movies I Saw in the Theater in 2010:
10. Saw 3D - I've seen every Saw movie in the theater. What started as a lark has turned into work. Yikes.
09. The Crazies - I've seen crazier.
08. Piranha 3D - One of the most ridiculous movies I have ever had the pleasure of enjoying. Chompy.
07. Iron Man 2 - Anybody else catch this one? Think it was only in theaters for like a week.
06. Date Night - My wife and I went on a date to see this. I mean, how cute is that?
05. Dinner for Schmucks - I remember laughing and then being really confused. Good mix.
04. MacGruber - Unjustly maligned. But I also find celery up a dude's ass sophisticated.
03. Jackass 3D - In a shocking turn of events, I enjoyed this film immensely. I'm growing up.
02. Let Me In - Did not plan on thinking this was awesome. But it is indeed. See it. Seriously.
01. Fair Game - My Sean Penn fandom continues. But this really was a great flick.
Cancel One Career
