Gome of the Week
Adrien Brody is asking that people don't go see his new movie because he's still waiting for part of his paycheck from it.
Don't think that's going to be a problem, homie.
This Week's Link That's Probably Not That Great
8-Bit Game Cartridge Soap - Clean up, nerdlinger.
This Week's Movie You've Probably Never Seen
Johnny 2.0 (1998)
When you talk about the dream pairing of director Neill Fearnley and seasoned character actor Michael Ironside, you're of course going to bring up our featured film from week 366, Black Ice. But don't leave out this gem, the 1998 action-thriller that added Jeff Fahey and Raquel Welch's daughter to the mix. Is that cover virtual reality-y enough for you? Does it remind you of another Johnny movie from around the same time period?
While a lot of sci-fi-ish flicks from the late-90's are heavy on the aforementioned virtual reality bit, this is the first one I've seen that also throws in another hot-button issue from the time period: cloning. So: not only do you have human holograms, you've also got multiple versions of the same person running around. I'm not the brightest guy in the world, but at some point I completely lost track of what the hell was going on in this movie.
Here's a quick version: Johnny (Fahey) is a scientist at a corporation run by Ironside's character, where they're working on cloning technology. During a break-in, Johnny gets clubbed in the head and rushed to the hospital. When he wakes up, he finds out that it's 20 years later and he's actually a clone of himself, complete with downloaded memories from an MRI taken while he was at the hospital. Meanwhile, his real self has been alive for the last 20 years, doing a bunch of important research. But, he's recently gone missing, so they cloned him to help find himself, because who better to find him than him? The catch: this new clone Johnny will basically self-destruct within a week. Or will he...? This is where things get intricate, and I really don't even have the space to elaborate.
By the end, it devolves into a discussion about souls and some other bullshit that almost ruins the flick. But before that, Fahey gets the chance of a lifetime, playing dual roles: one young Johnny, and one old. The old one is the highlight of the movie, not just for his hilarious wig and facial hair, but for his raspy voice and slight mumble that Fahey just nails. It's really something.
Also of note: this seems to be Tahnee Welch's final acting role. Can't say I blame her. Ironside: solid as always as the huge prick who tries to spoil everything and gets what's coming to him in the end. It's the role he was born to play, baby.
Scope the trailer and see what I'm talking about.
This Week's Record You're Probably Not Listening To
Enoch Light and The Light Brigade - Dimension 3 (1964)
If you spend a lot of time combing through bargain LP bins (and who doesn't?), I'm sure you're no stranger to the seemingly endless series of Command compilations that were issued during the 60's. The stereo train was just leaving the station, and this label was ready to stake their claim as the stereo label for the new generation. Or so my made-up story goes.
No matter how it really went down, this is another one of those, a comp of some fairly standard classics ("Love and Marriage," "Adios") with extreme panning in place, so that you can finally experience the elusive "3rd speaker." Need more info? The tome that takes up the entire gatefold can really open you up to this system's "heightenend emotional potential." Lid of pot not included.
This Week's Hip New Slang Word or Phrase
street rules - A sweet way to describe the rules when there are no rules.
Origin - The street.
Usage - "Oh, dude. That new Katherine Heigl movie where she's unlucky in love and then meets a guy that she hates but fixes him and then ends up in love with him is super tight. I think I'm going to buy the DVD."
"Dude. I will not allow such filth in our home. I'll break your face with a rock if that's what it takes to stop you from making that purchase."
"Dude, I didn't realize we were playing by street rules."
"Dude, street rules are in full effect."
This Week's Top Ten List
The Top Ten Signs Your Political Campaign Is In Trouble:
10. Your town hall meetings always seem to end up on one topic: the best place in town for you to score heroin
09. Your slogan of "bringing the back hair back to Washington" has not effectively swayed the "hirsute vote"
08. Your campaign manager: a hobo with an imaginary Blackberry
07. You plan to watch poll results at that strip club out on Route 9
06. Your go-to issue: Legalizing switchblades for special-needs children
05. Soundbite from a recent interview: "I've always felt that arson is nature's eraser"
04. TV ads constantly feature shots of you in your kitchen slugging scotch and softly weeping
03. Hiring a 42-year-old Puerto Rican dude to pretend to be your loving teenage daughter was admittedly short-sighted
02. A windowless van with the words "FREE CANDY" spray-painted on the side has not been received well near the local elementary schools
01. All you ever want to talk about is mandatory cup-check regulations
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