04.11.10

Gome of the Week
First off, it's hilarious that Eric Avery quit Jane's Addiction again.

Second, twenty years ago I would have wagered a million dollars that a member of Guns 'N Roses would never join Jane's Addiction.

Just when you thought these guys couldn't tarnish their already-fucked legacy any further...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

This Week's Link That's Probably Not That Great
Don't Cry For Me, I'm Already Dead - This wasn't part of the deal, Blackheart. This wasn't part.

 

This Week's Movie You've Probably Never Seen
Scam (1993)

Right after she made Traces of Red, Lorraine Bracco traded Belushi for Walken (good move) and starred in another flick in somewhat the same style. Decent budget, good script, one o' them mysteries that keeps you guessing till the end.

This one involves people duping the shit out of each other, and since the two main characters are established early as the scam-happy type, the rest of the movie leaves the viewer to wonder if anything either of these people are saying is true, or if they're just looking one-up each other in the scamsmanship dept. (It was the early 90's. The world was still flush with fever from The Grifters a few years earlier. This movie was probably trying to cash in on the national obsession with marks, shills, and bamboozlement. That was a scammy time, my friends. Grifty, even.)

The story is actually fairly involved, so I won't get into that, but I really feel like I unearthed a lost Walken gem here. In fact, this movie has yet to be released on DVD. (Keep throwing out your videotapes, people. I'll keep watching the shit out of them.) Anyway, Walken's not given a ton to work with, but he plays a low-key badass and has some pretty sweet moments in the flick. And come on: Walken in '93, True Romance-era? Tough to beat.

So, yeah, this movie ended up not sucking at all. In fact, it was solid all the way through. Some strong knife-fights, Bracco in a wet white t-shirt, Walken beating some henchmen - what's not to like? And, as you can see, the tape included a preview of Taking the Heat, so that was just the icing on the cake. I mean, who doesn't remember Tony Goldwyn's performance in that made-for-TV movie?

 

 

This Week's Record You're Probably Not Listening To
"Bald" Bill Hagan and his Trocaderons - Music to Strip By (1963)

I'm not sure what constitutes a "strip tease hit," but this LP claims to have collected 12 authentic ones, and I'm not one to argue. With titles like "G-String Twist," "Girdles Aweigh," and the always creepy "My Heart Belongs to Daddy," you know you're getting prime, strip-ready material here.

I'm more of a "Welcome to the Jungle" mixed with raspy-voiced DJ kind of guy, but hey, that's just me.

 

 

 

 

This Week's Hip New Slang Word or Phrase
I'm fin to get my Puff on - A sweet thing to say before eating a bowl of Puffins cereal.

Origin - Pecos.

Usage - "Oh, dude. I am hungry. Also a bit thirsty."

"Dude, that can only be cured with one thing."

"Dude, you are right. Shit, I'm fin to get my Puff on."

"Dude, Puff away."

 

This Week's Top Ten List

The Top Ten Signs You Didn't, And Are Never Going To, Win A Pulitzer:

10. Overalls are too complicated a pant for you to get into
09. You're a fanatic Russell Brand fan
08. Your life-changing invention: spreadable orange juice
07. Your money-saving home oil changes on your car always end with the neighborhood kids encircling you and yelling, "Chug! Chug! Chug!"
06. You're the one who came up with that new KFC sandwich where the bread is meat or whatever
05. You eat at KFC
04. Finally penned your autobiography - it's 12 pages long, including hand-drawn photos of you crying a lot
03. Your claim to fame: You're great at rubbing one out on crowded buses and any other form of mass transit
02. You use words like "Tyler Perry" and "genius" in the same sentence
01. You're a dude with a tramp stamp

 

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