Gome of the Week
Alright, who let Durst back in the building?

This picture makes me angry for so many reasons.














This Week's Link That's Probably Not That Great
Wrasslin Queen Ric Flair Tribute - Some stalker-quality photos here.


This Week's Movie You've Probably Never Seen
This Is My Life (1992)

Sistas are doing it for themselves! I'm assuming this film was originally titled The Rita Rudner Story, but I haven't been able to secure confirmation on that.

Before the national pandemics that were Sleepless in Seattle and You've Got Mail, Nora Ephron made her directorial debut with this Woody Allen-esque tale of a single mother who finds semi-stardom as a stand-up comedian. Julie "No I Will Not Put On the Blue Wig So You Can Live Out Your Wildest Cartoon Fantasies" Kavner stars as Dottie, a sassy mom who scrapes by as a makeup counter lady but really wants to make it in showbiz.

When her aunt dies and leaves her the house she and her two daughters (played by Samantha "I Thought I Was Supposed To Be The Next Big Thing But That Clearly Didn't Pan Out" Mathis and Gabby "It Was All Downhill After Uncle Buck" Hoffman) have been living in, she decides to sell the place and move to Manhattan so she can really give stand-up a go.

Fair enough, but here's where this movie lost me: we're supposed to believe that she moves to the big city, makes a name for herself as a comedian, blows up huge on the West Coast, and then moves on to a headlining slot in Vegas–all in the span of about six months. Anything else is show business, I may have bought it. But stand-up is notorious for taking at least a decade before you get any recognition. The fact that her material was terrible didn't help me suspend my disbelief, either.

Not a bad film, in the end. Carrie "Where's Your Medicine Cabinet?" Fisher and Dan "I Dream of Making Love to an Alien–I Hope They Like Fat Guys" Akroyd phone in some supporting roles, and Kavner is actually very capable of carrying a film, though I'm not sure if anyone ever let her do it again after this. Samantha Mathis could not have been pleased with that photo of her on the cover. She looks like the kid from Dutch.



This Week's Record You're Probably Not Listening To
Danny Welton - Harmonica HiJinks in High Fidelity (196?)

Rarely do you see such flagrant use of alliteration in an album title. Mr. Welton must have fancied himself a trendsetter.

If you've ever wanted to hear a guy just really fucking wank on a harmonica this is the album for you. He's just be-boppin', scattin', and really wailing away. There are some sweet drawings of drunk-looking harmonicas on the back of this LP; you know, party harps.

This was during the era when "gay" was still considered a compliment, so when they describe "La Cucaracha" as having a "gay Latin beat" on the back of the album, I can't help but agree. Blow on.




This Week's Hip New Slang Word or Phrase
a villain, a real mixer - A sweet way to classify a troublemaker. "King mixer" is a solid variation.

Origin - Paul McCartney in A Hard Day's Night.

Usage - "Oh, dude. I went to the discotheque last night and really started some trouble. I am a maniac when I drink aftershave."

"Dude, I think anyone would be."

"Old Spice, I'm usually OK. But when I hit the Stetson I turn into a villain, a real mixer."

"King mixer, dude."


This Week's Top Ten List

The Top Ten Signs You've Been Had:

10. As you're picking your teeth up off the ground, you realize the three-card monte table has mysteriously disappeared
09. There's a camera crew in your living room and the reporter keeps asking you to estimate what percentage or your net worth you wired to Nigeria
08. You check the eBay auction small print for your recently-won copy of an autographed photo of Paul Lynde, and it does indeed specify that it was a "reproduction"
07. Blowing on the fabric repeatedly with no visible reaction confirms your worst fears: bootleg Hypercolor
06. The prostitute left to buy rubbers with your AmEx card six hours ago
05. After consuming the Taco Bell Spicy Chicken Burrito, you are shocked at your inability to breathe fire
04. The price did seem quite low on that mail-order speedboat
03. Toby Keith at the Apollo seemed like an odd bill, but that scalper was just so damned charming
02. As soon as the tassles fell off, you knew they were fake L.A. Gears
01. You could have sworn the guy's badge actually said "wallet inspector" on it


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