Gome of the Week
Forgive me for being a tad political, because I strive to avoid it on here, but watching John McCain make jokes during the debate tonight to a crowd who had been explicity instructed to be quiet was just too brutal not to mention. I think I actually heard crickets chirping, and possibly saw a tumbleweed roll through.
This Week's Link That's Probably Not That Great
Sad Guys on Trading Floors - An unstoked bunch.
This Week's Movie You've Probably Never Seen
Joe Kid on a Sting-Ray (2005)
Am I the only one who wondered what happened to Eddie Fiola? Fred Blood? El Cid? No, no I'm not. I grew up as a sad little wannabe BMXer, so this documentary on the history of the sport was like some weird form of retro porn for me. I watched the shit out of it twice. Takes you from the early days of the motocross imitators to the sad modern realities of the X Games. Features interviews with a lot of my old school faves: Ron Wilkerson, RL Osborn, and of course, Dizz Hicks. I got so excited I busted a Decade and then jammed over to the half pipe for a no hand Abubaca.
This Week's Record You're Probably Not Listening To
Philippine Dance Company - Bayanihan 7 (1978)
Apparently I missed out on the first six volumes of this crazy series, so I may be a little lost. Still trying to figure out exactly why a dance company has a record... On some of the songs it sounds like people might actually be dancing, so maybe that answers my question. Take "The Thunder and the Fire, Part 2: Luzan--The Mountains," for example. It's a wild amalgamation of raw percussion, loose chants, and what sounds like feet scraping on the pavement. Or, it could be "the sound of coconut shells strapped to the back, chest, hips, and thighs of the dancers being struck lustily by a pair of coconuts in the dancers' hands." I was going to make a dirty joke here, but it would be way too easy.
This Week's Hip New Slang Word or Phrase
bangulate - A fancy word for bonin'.
Origin - Cuyler, Early
Usage - "Dude, we need to find you a new coug."
"Dude, I hear that. I need some fresh meat."
"And by that disgusting statement, I assume you mean some meat that was once fresh but has now been cured to a sort of leathery condition?"
"Dude, I ain't picky. I'm just looking to humpify, sexatize, or possibly bangulate a lady who is no stranger to Misty Menthols."
This Week's Top Ten List
The Top Ten Signs You're A Woman Who's Excited About the New Kids on the Block Reunion:
10. You've started making your husband undo one strap on his overalls and staple a fake rat tail to the base of his skull
09. You got in an argument with that bitch from HR that ended with tears and you screaming "You know what? I will take it step by step. Just watch me!"
08. You still remember the first time you awkwardly finger banged yourself to a fanzine photo of Joey
07. You begin visibly brimming with ire when I refer to Danny as "Monkey Boy"
06. Like everyone else, you were tired of watching the horrible spectacle that was Donnie Wahlberg respecting himself
05. You send a group email to all your gal pals: "Ladies, remember how annoying we were in sixth grade? Who's ready to pay exorbitant amounts for concert tickets and drink enough peach schnapps to get twice, possibly three times that annoying as full-grown women?"
04. Constantly wishing you didn't hastily throw away that 700 dollars worth of Jordan memorabilia in 1989
03. You say things like "Shit bitch, I've been hangin' tough since '88. That's just what I do."
02. Reocurring fantasy where you help Jonathan get over his social anxiety disorder with a series of rides on his face
01. You've finally forgiven them for "Dirty Dawg"
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