08.24.08
Gome of the Week
Baseball will be using Instant Replay starting on Thursday. Seriously, where the fuck are you, Joe DiMaggio?
This Week's Link That's Probably Not That Great
Glowsticking: The BTB Weave - Guaranteed to pull you out of any k-hole.
This Week's Movie You've Probably Never Seen
Evolver (1995)
As I was trolling the sci-fi section I was surprised to find a 90s gem like this that I had never even heard of. What you get here is a pretty ludicrous story concerning a teenage boy (a post "Dutch" Ethan Embry billed as Ethan Allen) who wins a virtual reality gaming contest (did I mention that this was mid-90s?) and thus is rewarded with a real life robot replica of the VR villain. Who knew that might be a bad idea? So of course the robot goes bonkers and Ethan Embry and his band of nerds must do battle to return some semblance of sanity to their mad, mad virtual reality filled mid-90s universe. This film really feels like one that was written for but passed on by both Coreys. Think "Double O Kid" with robots.
Love, Biff.
This Week's Record You're Probably Not Listening To
The Nylons - Happy Together (1987)
They do look happy together...a little too happy. Do you love a cappella music, but often wish the vocalists were backed up with a shitty drum machine? You are in luck. Wait, doesn't that make this technically not a cappella music? Probably, if you're a purist. But these guys were, by the looks of it, way too busy banging chicks to care. I mean with songs like "Grown Man Cry," "Kiss Him Goodbye," and "Chain Gang," I don't see how they couldn't be knee-deep in vagina at all times. Cashing in on the a cappella craze of '87 and taking the harmony train to Poonville. Well played, gents. Well played.
This Week's Hip New Slang Word or Phrase
you make the Great Santini look like Leo Buscaglia - An incredibly outdated way to tell someone they are a hard-ass.
Origin - Dennis Miller, probably around '88.
Usage - "Dude, the bro patrol has been breathing down my neck all night. I've had it with these super bros."
"Dude, fear not. I will approach them one by one, issuing a series of Black Rebel Chops and Perfect Plexes."
"Dude. You make the Great Santini look like Leo Buscaglia."
"Dude, I totally do."
This Week's Top Ten List
The Top Ten Jury-Rigged Slip 'N Slide Combinations Sure To Land You In The Hospital:
10. Grape jelly on an old laminated "Hang In There" poster. You know, the one with the cat danglin'.
09. Fish oil on 30 sheets of printer paper stapled together
08. Coors Light on that old tarp you bought with Marlboro Miles
07. Gravy on pavement
06. Tang on a discarded windshield
05. Brake fluid found on the dirt in a recently used Crash-Up Derby course
04. Diet root beer on stolen, state-owned Insterstate signage
03. Blood on a bedsheet
02. Bongwater on a tapestry taken from your wall, you dirty, dirty hippie
01. Crunk Juice on yo' whip
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