Gome of the Week
Ladies: Please resist the urge to dress like Lara Croft and attend a comic book convention. There are much easier ways to gain the attention of huge losers. And come on. It's 2008. Get in the game.
This Week's Link That's Probably Not That Great
The Tea Bagger - Exactly what you think it would be.
This Week's Movie You've Probably Never Seen
Amityville: A New Generation (1993)
So a while back I dedicated my movie watching efforts to those series of horror films that never seem to end (think Friday The 13th). Amityville Horror is just one of those series. This little gem, if one was still counting at this point, is part 7 of the ongoing series. Somewhat encouraged by part 6, entitled Amityville 1992: It's About Time, which I liked way more than I thought I would, I had actual good hopes for this one. Oh how disappointed I was. This film suffers from an attempt to really connect it to the original, with relating the main character to the original family. Lame. Also, his secret father, posing as a bum, gives him a mirror from the original house, which in turn haunts his little art gallery apartment house. Double lame. This one is a real snoozer. You will recognize some faces and be bummed out at Hook from Thrashin's relatively small role. Let this be a lesson for late sequels: Don't try to rewrite what has come before you. Also, actually try to be scary.
This Week's Record You're Probably Not Listening To
Cats Can Fly - Cats Can Fly (1986)
Do you love mid-80's Canadian synth-pop? Of course you do. And who cares if these guys don't sing too well? They've got some pretty impressive jackets. Apparently "Flippin' To The 'A' Side" was a hit for the group, but I don't recognize it. The video is definitely worth checking out, though. Song titles that could ostensibly be homoerotic anthems: "Save It For The Next One" and "Heavy Load." I heard their drummer won a 'Til Tuesday era Aimee Mann look-a-like contest in '87. Is that true?
This Week's Hip New Slang Word or Phrase
The suckiest bunch of sucks that ever sucked - An easy way of classifying a group of people as sucky.
Origin - Team Homer.
Usage - "Dude, that band tonight was untight."
"Dude, you are right about that. When the lead singer yelled 'Show us your c-section scars!' I was just confused."
"Dude, they make the Craptown Pipers look like Zeppelin."
"Dude, they truly are the suckiest bunch of sucks that ever sucked."
This Week's Top Ten List
The Top Ten Things To Throw Through Your Car Window When You've Locked The Keys Inside:
10. Your car's battery
09. A frozen Charleston Chew
08. That fat kid who's always calling you "homo face"
07. The Don DeLillo novel you got 12 pages into four years ago
06. A counterfeit Faberge egg filled with quick drying cement
05. Your fist, if you've got the guts. You sissy
04. The iPod of your friend who, as you put it, listens to "nothin' but tranny tunes"
03. A baseball signed by the entire 1927 Yankees team
02. A petrified rutabaga
01. Your prosthetic ass
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