Gome of the Week
C-Dog, don't make me report you to Hot Chicks With Douchebags. You undo one more button under those necklaces and we have a serious problem.
This Week's Link That's Probably Not That Great
Date A Cougar - Where Matt Fargo goes when he's looking for love.
This Week's Movie You've Probably Never Seen
Yeah, so I know that this is an Oliver Stone flick but I can guarantee that you have never seen it. James Woods proves why he is a stallion and Jim Belushi proves why he should never be allowed in to appear in dramatic roles. This is based on a true story about a sleazy reporter who goes to El Salvador to report on the ongoing civil war. It really is intense as long as you don't get distracted by the star of "K-9."
This Week's Record You're Probably Not Listening To
Senator Everett McKinley Dirksen - Gallant Men: Stories of the American Adventure (1967)
Judging from the odd comment I got from the clerk at the record store when I bought this (I don't remember exactly what he said, but it amounted to proclaiming Dirksen a loon) and the disheveled photo of the Senator on the cover, I thought this might have some comedic value to it. It doesn't, but if you need a quick briefing on some of the major principles of this great country of ours, this is the guy to tell you about 'em. He's got a fucking velvet voice. Seriously, it's soothing. And honestly, can you ever really know enough about the Mayflower Compact?
This Week's Hip New Slang Word or Phrase
Then let's see how he does, up there, without all the assistance! - A devious proclamation to be made after taking someone down a peg.
Origin - It's a whole big Seinfeld via Buddy Rich thing.
Usage - "Dude, this is a trump teez bbq. Lots of ladies, including your ex-coug and her new manther."
"Dude, do not remind me. I cannot drink enough Bartles & Jaymes to numb the pain I feel. Look at him running the grill."
"Dude, he is the epitome of dode. Let's go strip him of his tongs and flame retardant apron."
"Then let's see how he does, up there, without all the assistance!"
This Week's Top Ten List
The Top Ten Rejected T-Shirt Slogans:
10. "Don't Get Too Close, I've Just Consumed An Insane Amount of Cake"
09. "I'm With Dale"
08. "My Other Shirt Is A Mesh Tank Top That Exposes My Many Boils and Lesions"
07. "Gay Porn: It's What's For Dinner"
06. "I May Be Fat, But You're Ugly and- Wait, Do You Smell Cheese Frying?"
05. "I Got Sodomized Repeatedly In Prison For Three Years and All I Got Was This Lousy T-Shirt"
04. "Got Rickets?"
03. "Hey, Don't Shove A Parking Cone Up My Ass and Tell Me It's Just An Enormous Butt Plug"
02. "World's Greatest Homophobe"
01. "I'm A...Wait, What Was That Guy's Name Who Wanted Carrie To Pee On Him?
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