06.22.08

Gome of the Week
There's no way this movie is going to be good, right? It involves hip hop in 1994, which is good. However, it stars Mary-Kate Olsen in a supporting role, which is bad. But, it also stars Method Man, which could be good or bad, or both at the same time. It's stressing me out. Side note: Judging from his recent work, Ben Kingsley is on hiatus from doing anything that might faintly resemble "actual acting."

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

This Week's Link That's Probably Not That Great
The Vinny Club - These guys have put together a blippy concept record about Rocky IV. It's awesome.

 

This Week's Movie You've Probably Never Seen
Haunted Highway (2006)

So this guy kills his girlfriend and then drives around in the middle of the night, with her body in the trunk, looking for a place to dump it. Along the way he goes crazier and crazier as he starts to see scary things. I loved the premise but was disappointed by the execution. When the only character is the villain there isn't really anyone to root for.

Love, Biff.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

This Week's Record You're Probably Not Listening To
Don Lonie - Don Lonie Talks With Teenagers (1962)

If there's one thing I know, it's that teenagers love it when an old guy tells them bad jokes and then yaps their ears off about Jesus. Don excels on both fronts. From the back of the LP: "With talks that are crisp, wise and witty, Don Lonie holds his listeners in the palm of his hand and one minute will have them 'laughing their heads off,' and then, the next minute he is driving home a serious thought and they are intent once again." Well, it's nice to see Don can appreciate and awkward sentence. This LP is on the same label as our record from 20 weeks ago, and it's equally crazy. Speaking of crazy, here's a fun fact I discovered while listening to this the other day: You know that sample of the dude saying "Now normally, if I can help it, I don't spend a lot of time in a principal's office" from Young MC's song "Principal's Office"? That's ol' Donny, cracking wise on this record. Doubly crazy because I just bought Stone Cold Rhymin' on vinyl two weeks ago. Eerie.

 

 

This Week's Hip New Slang Word or Phrase
Pretty Ricky what they called him - Sweet way of describing a pretty boy.

Origin - I'm hooked on "Martin" reruns.

Usage - "Dude, this discoteque is trump teez. Check out that coug."

"Dude, she is rocking a diamond turd cutter."

"Dude, you are right about that. Hey, how's your ex-coug holding up?"

"Dude, she is dating this guy who shaves his chest. I think you met him. His name's Dale. Pretty Ricky what they called him."

 

 

This Week's Top Ten List

The Top Ten Signs Signs You've Been Listening To Too Much Prince:

10. Your kids ask you what the phrase "I want to fuck the taste out of your mouth" means
09. When your grandma inquires as to what song you're humming, you say "Oh, it's just 'Jack U Off' by Prince, grams"
08. When you need surgery, you demand only the best, Dr. Fink
07. You only visit hookers named Wendy & Lisa
06. You're beginning to wonder if you could pull off wearing a pair of assless leather pants
05. You're trying to get your friends to start calling you "The Kid"
04. Instead of "I," you have substituted a drawing of an actual eye in any and all legal and binding documents
03. You have sexual fantasies about Sheila E pounding on you with studded mallets
02. Whenever "Manic Monday" by the Bangles comes on the radio, you always pipe up and tell everyone that Prince wrote it
01. If anyone ever needs help telling the difference between Vanity 6 and Apollonia 6, you've got it covered

 

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