Gome of the Week
The writer's strike screwed me out of a lot of quality programming this season. That's time I spent reading, writing, and talking to loved ones. I remain bitter.
This Week's Link That's Probably Not That Great
Batting Stances: 1980's - If you didn't watch a lot of baseball in the 80's don't bother with this one.
This Week's Movie You've Probably Never Seen
Dead and Deader (2006)
What do you get when you combine Dean Cain, John Billingsley and zombies? Kind of a crappy movie, actually. While it has a great title and some pretty slick packaging, the movie winks at you a little too much to make it enjoyable crap. If I have said it once I have said it a thousand times, camp on purpose does not make camp. It is hard to find that high level of crap film enjoyment when the crap film seems to be telling you, "hey, I'm a crap film. Aren't I clever?" And then I say, "no, no you're not."
This Week's Record You're Probably Not Listening To
Vangelis - Heaven and Hell (1975)
Ah, I am just now putting together that this is the Chariots of Fire guy. I thought this record was a lttle too impressive to be some random synth tunes from the mid-70's. I enjoy how they sum it up on the back: "All kinds of keyboards, percussion, and sundry instruments played by Vangelis." You got that right. There is a lot going on here. And how dramatic is that cover? Really gives you something to think about.
This Week's Hip New Slang Word or Phrase
What's your beef, Stew? - A sweet way to ask somebody what their problem is.
Origin - Jerri Blank.
Usage - "Dude, you need to bounce back from your bad date."
"Dude, when you're right, you're right. Now give me your sister's number and let's commence with the bagpiping."
"Dude, don't make me put you in the Perfect Plex."
"What's your beef, Stew?"
This Week's Top Ten List
The Top Ten Ways I Give Back to the Community:
10. I try to litter in all parts of the city, not just my own neigborhood
09. When it comes to lying about my volunteer work at dinner parties, I'm second to none
08. I only buy heroin from local dealers
07. I'm cleaning up the streets, one bum murder at a time
06. When I defraud an elderly couple out of their life savings, I always immediately stimulate the local economy with frivolous purchases aplenty!
05. I donate all of my old copies of Hustler to libraries across the state
04. I only stalk local celebrities, like that blonde newscaster who has clearly implied that I should impregnate her
03. When visiting a hooker for high risk breath control play, I always tip her more if I don't have to travel across state lines
02. I'm only racist against Asians who don't live within a 50 mile radius of me
01. I only carjack people with California plates
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