03.09.08

Gome of the Week
Dennis, I'll always have love for you. But I've tried twice now to sit through an episode of your new game show, and I just can't do it, my man.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

This Week's Link That's Probably Not That Great
NES Baseball Games - I definitely don't remember a few of these.

 

 

This Week's Movie You've Probably Never Seen
Super Sucker (2002)

The title is what originally caught my attention, being the same name of one of my favorite bands. Then I saw Jeff Daniels on the cover. Then I saw that it was also written and directed by Mr. Daniels. The final product is a bizarre 50's looking movie about a vacuum cleaner salesman who stumbles upon the fact that his vacuums make for a great way for a lady to have a one-way. Of course they become best sellers and then crazy antics ensue once the men figure out what he has been up to. This was a fairly entertaining, if not exactly hilarious, little movie that spent quite a bit of time giving itself some style. Go Jeff Daniels Go!

Love, Biff.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

This Week's Record You're Probably Not Listening To
Street Angels - One Bite (1985)

Sorry about the image, etc. This is another golden 12" dance record, two songs, 45RPM, you have to love it. Now, keep in mind that Tina Turner had just made her big comeback a year earlier, so the woman on the left there was clearly working the old lady with a huge wig thing that Tina had made so popular. Remember The Simpsons episode where Milhouse's parents get divorced? The lady that his dad takes to Moe's looks exactly like this woman. Maybe I'm the only one who made this connection. As for the mom in the middle there, I don't know what her story is, but her kids must be mortified. Side A: "One Bite." Side B: "Once Bitten," which is just a crappy remix of the A side. Sneaky.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

This Week's Hip New Slang Word or Phrase
Bremelo - Unattractive hefty women from Bremerton, WA.

Origin - Sir Mix-A-Lot, before he started sucking. It's a pretty specific one, but I'm ready to bring it back.

Usage - "Dude, I saw your ex-coug riding a mechanical bull last night."

"How could you tell which was which?"

"Ouch, again with the bitter disdain, dude. Hey, where is she from again?"

"Straight outta Bremerton. She is, in some circles, considered an OG Bremelo."

"Dude, that is more untight than the sweatpants she was wearing."

 

This Week's Top Ten List

The Top Ten People I Hate At the Gym:

10. The guy in front of me on the treadmill who has Ziploc bags over the earpieces on his headphones
09. The guy who wears his bicycling shoes, you know those ones that lock into the pedals or whatever? We get it, you rode your bike to the gym. You win
08. The large breasted hippie lady who rocks a t-shirt and no bra while speed walking. She's really going bananas
07. The trio of bros who yell "you got it bro!" while they're spotting/dry humping each other. Just go home, wash each other's balls, and get it over with
06. The post-50 lady who thinks her ankle tattoo and botched eye job is making her appear years younger. Let it go, it's over
05. The two Asian women who never fail to get in a screaming match while NordicTracking in the cardio room
04. That one dude who always wears jeans
03. The 700lb lady with the double leg braces who's always wolfing down Taco Bell after some deep knee bends
02. The foreign kid who wears slacks and cleats on the treadmill
01. The elderly naked dude in the locker room who won't stop talking to me while I try to avoid catching glimpes of his nuts, which are doing a pendulum thing between his kneecaps

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