Gome of the Week
Hey, Biff's gonna give me a break from the finger-pointing this week:

"How about people that post videos of themselves on Youtube playing a song. Because you know what? I don't care. When I search for a band or song on Youtube I am not looking for your terrible, lonely, pathetic, acoustic, usually not complete, version of it. I am looking for the band or song I am looking for. I don't know why but this always makes me angry. You know, if your band covered it live, maybe that is one thing. But some teabag playing 30 seconds of Europe's "The Final Countdown" on his sensitive acoustic is completely and utterly useless. And will actually get you less laid then you were before.

Okay, I just had to get that out."

Well said.




This Week's Link That's Probably Not That Great
Self Pierced Guiche - Dude tells the surprisingly mundane tale of how he pierced his own taint.



This Week's Movie You've Probably Never Seen
Siblings (2004)

Oh those silly Canadians. I have a simple rule when renting movies. If the main characters are kids and the rating is "R" then you can never go wrong. Nothing says entertainment like kids swearing. This movie finds our protagonists wanting to kill their parents because they are assholes and the hilarity that ensues afterward. I think my favorite line was, "Cut your hair. You look Jewish." I don't know why but I found that especially hilarious. This movie was actually surprisingly pretty good. The guy that played Wayne Gretzky's dad in the Gretzky movie that I reviewed a while back is also in this. Yay me!

Love, Biff.









This Week's Record You're Probably Not Listening To
The Members - Uprhythm Downbeat (1982)

The Members are a band that I've seen labeled as "punk," which is perplexing for a number of reasons. First of all, they're a seven piece. Second of all, that guy in the front there is wearing a leopard patterned beret. Thirdly, they sound like a shittier version of Robert Palmer. But, aside from the fact that they can't really nail done a definitive genre for themselves, this really isn't a terrible record. It's just not as good as say, Robert Palmer.







This Week's Hip New Slang Word or Phrase
gomenclature - The procedure of assigning names to the kinds and groups of gomes listed in a taxonomic classification.

Origin - This guy I met on the street. It's probably worth mentioning that he was wearing a lab coat.

Usage - "Dude, my coug and I are going to the Pointer Sisters show at the fairgrounds this weekend."

"Dude, weak. You know it's only one of the original sisters, right? The one who looks like a dude."

"Dude, you are sadly trump teez for knowing that. Well, we can at least have fun mocking the crowd."

"Yes, you will really be able to brush up on your gomenclature."



This Week's Top Ten List
The Top Ten Worst Bumper Stickers:

10. "NAMFLA: We're like NAMBLA but for ferrets"
09. "Princess On Board (and by "Princess" I mean fat girl in stretch pants with an inordinate amount of mascara goop in her eye corners)"
08. "Honk if you love the sultry R&B stylings of Taylor Dayne"
07. "My child likes to stick firecrackers up the cat's ass so now he's in the 'special' school where they don't even have grades"
06. "Got Hepatitis?"
05. "I"d rather be in a frat house, getting passed around like a joint"
04. "My other car is somewhere in the South, being used for drug trafficking"
03. "World's Greatest Racist"
02. "Ask me about my monumental capacity for teabagging"
01. "Real men only use Taiwanese underground pornography"




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