Gome of the Week
Is anyone else getting spam emails where the girl not only mentions that her boyfriend's dong is huge, but also how her mouth is really small? Seems like she's got some problems. Here's how mine play out:

The subject is: "My new guy's prick is enormous, and my mouth is tiny."

The men always would like, that at them all was more, than at others.
So the strong floor is arranged. And when the speech comes about penis …

If the man speaks you, that to him all the same with what at him the size of the member- he dissembles.
To any to the man not all the same. Penis is a pride the man, his second "I am".
If want is his card in the intimate atti dai ! tudes.
Your member will increase on 5-7 centimeters in length!
Your member on some centimeters becomes thicker!
Your sexual member will lose confusing curvature and it becomes ideal by a straight line!
You learn to supervi se the moment ejaculation!
And now make a real step to this - buy our means for increase of the member.

That's straight up verse and prose, yo.




This Week's Link That's Probably Not That Great
YouTube's 7 Scariest Teachers - These dudes lose it.



This Week's Movie You've Probably Never Seen
The Hunt for the BTK Killer (2005)

Welcome to Part 2 in my BTK film reviews. This film is a definite improvement on last week's "BTK: Killer," which isn't saying much
given that films firm grasp on suckitude, but it is entertaining enough to make it not terrible. It was made for TV, which is odd considering the grisly nature of the murders, so any sort of shock is removed. Character actor Gregg Henry does a solid job as BTK. What is truly odd is that THIS BTK film is directed by Stephen Kay. And what movie did he direct? "Boogeyman." Make that 2005's "Boogeyman." Read last week's entry for the true irony and annoyance of this simple fact. If you have to rent one BTK flick, please, for the love of your own sanity, make it this one. Please.

Love, Biff.








This Week's Record You're Probably Not Listening To
Whodini - "One Love" 12" (1986)

Here's the deal: Whodini is awesome. If you think their lyrics are a little tame and that a song like "Friends" is kind of gay, then you're missing the point and you're an idiot. And I don't doubt that Jalil would take that hat off and straight up choke you with the little tassle thingy on it. Anyway, "One Love" is a tight track. Sorry about the crappy image, it's the only one I could find. I bought this single a year or so ago and I still spin it every once in a while. 12" Mix, 7" Mix, Album Mix, Instrumental? They're all here.





This Week's Hip New Slang Word or Phrase
the base of Mt. Baldy - A roundabout way of referencing the scrotal region.

Origin - Dennis Miller says it on one of his old stand up specials. And, of course Mount Baldy is a real place in CA.

Usage - "Dude, this place is cool, but your coug is really getting ham-hocked."

"Yeah, she likes wine coolers, dude. She also enjoys the scrotalitarian regime that I have established in our relationship."

"Dude, that is great. What are you and the coug doing this weekend?"

"Well dude, I think I'm going to invite her to do some sack wrangling at the base of Mt. Baldy."


This Week's Top Ten List
The Top Ten Things That Music Once Had and is Now Missing:

10. Nikki Sixx when he was too doped up to speak
09. Bell and Biv, but I always thought Devoe was kind of a whiny bitch
08. The delicate genius that was Eagle-Eye Cherry
07. White Lion, Glass Tiger, White Tiger, really any bands named after fictional or freak-of-nature cats
06. I could really use another US Festival
05. I haven't seen a good ol' fashioned codpiece in quite a while
04. Are any of those hot lezbos from the Lilith Fair still around or are they off making their own granola? (I kid, I kid)
03. Man, sometimes I really get nostalgic for Eddie Vedder's mohawk
02. A leader. I nominate Tom Keifer from Cinderella
01. Before we all lose it, let's organize a Rock 'N' Jock sporting event of some sort. C'mon people!


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