10.14.07
Gome of the Week
Turns out one of the dirtiest players in basketball was a complete douchebag off the court, too. Your shit-eating grin can't save you now, Zeke.
This Week's Link That's Probably Not That Great
The 30 Worst Video Game Tattoos - (Insert "there's no reset button in life" joke here.)
This Week's Movie You've Probably Never Seen
BTK Killer (2005)
This is, as of right now, the worst movie I have ever seen. This beats "A Certain Sacrifice." This beats "Manos: Hands Of Fate." This beats "Silent Night, Deadly Night 2." I was seduced by the cover which said "From the Director of 'Boogeyman." I liked "Boogeyman" a lot. I figured, what they hey? What I got was a movie that looked like it was shot on home video for a cable access show. The acting is ridiculous. The characters wear terrible wigs. There is barely a plot. Instead there are simply shots of BTK walking around, talking to himself in an overly dramatic "evil" voice, killing people, and stock footage of real life slaughterhouses.
For real. That's the whole movie. It is an endless, endless loop of the above four elements. As for the director? I looked up the director's name while I was watching the movie. He did direct "Boogeyman." Only his was the version that came out in 1980, not the recent well-made 2005 film. Awesome. What is also awesome is that I have seen that same ploy on 4 or 5 DVDs at the video store since then. And that gets a raucous Lame! Lame! Lame! Worst movie ever.
Stay tuned for next week's take on the other BTK film.
Love, Biff.
This Week's Record You're Probably Not Listening To
David Bromberg Band - Devil in a Bathing Suit (1978)
I couldn't pass up a cover like that. I was hoping for some classic rock with character. What I got was a horn heavy jazz rock crap fest that sounds like a Tower of Power demo tape from when they were in high school and on pills. At the end of the first side, if you let it play till the end and your turntable is a manual model, the final groove repeats endlessly, saying "Debby Boone" in the most annoying voice ever. I found that out the hard way.
This Week's Hip New Slang Word or Phrase
playing Ricky Morton - A great way to describe the opening band at a rock show who nobody came to see, nobody cares about, and who usually gets booed when they stay on stage too long.
Origin - Kind of a weird one. In wrestling, "playing Ricky Morton" is a phrase used to describe the half of a tag team who gets beat to shit while his rested partner is waiting on the edge of the canvas, desperately trying to make the "hot tag."
Usage - "Dude, this place is cool, but I'm really not enjoying this opening band."
"Dude, tell me about it. My coug is on her 13th rum and root beer and she's about to get vocal."
"She's not the only one. Man, they're really playing Ricky Morton up there."
"You got that right. Speaking of, don't you think my coug looks like Robert Gibson?"
This Week's Top Ten List
The Top Ten Comments on the WWF Promo Videos I Posted On YouTube:
10. "he's sounds so humble that he lost."
09. "lol at 0.52 ''im thinkin that er...im thinkin... he doesnt know what to say!! jesse has to help him out lmao i love it when wrestlers go blank and dont have anythin more to say cos its so obvious"
08. "that video was a little too queer for my tastes"
07. "lol red rooster half man half rooster. when he comes to the ring expect one hell of a cock fight."
06. "Bossman stumbled through his promo so badly the blue screen broke"
05. "shame with all the videos that the wwe has out they seam to forget about the demolition who held
the tag team gold longer then most teams that i can think of in the day love these guys"
04. "I never liked the Warrior but I'll give him this, he had a bad ass blue screen. If he had borrowed Bravo's wristcovers Rudewould of never stood a chance"
03. "If you watch Blue Blazer's promo, not only is he dead, but 3 of the 4 wrestlers he mentions are dead as well."
02. "this is before he went nuts"
01. "homo denial."
Cancel One Career
