10.07.07

Gome of the Week
I was laid up all weekend with a bag of ice cubes on my lower spinal region. Untight. Doctor said I need a backiotomy!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

This Week's Link That's Probably Not That Great
How To Build A Stormtrooper Costume - Hope you've got about six months to kill...

 

 

This Week's Movie You've Probably Never Seen
One Way Out (2002)

You know, I do the dirty work so you don't have to. When I saw James Belushi paired with Jason Bateman on the cover, I knew I was in for a wild ride. The plot isn't actually that bad. Belushi is a murder investigator that, due to gambling debts, is forced to take place in a murder. Lo and behold, he is forced to investigate it. Linda from The Wedding Singer plays his partner. There is a bit too much Belushi sex in this flick for my liking. However, the way that he wears a House Of Blues shirt in every other shot and plays his harmonica throughout more than makes up for it. And Bateman is kind of funny, too.

Love, Biff.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

This Week's Record You're Probably Not Listening To
Suzi Quatro - If You Knew Suzi... (1979)

I think Suzi Quatro was one of those musicians who was way more popular overseas than she ever was here. As I sit here playing this LP, I don't really get how she was ever that popular at all. Sure, she was Leather Tuscadero, but her music doesn't really have much to it. Anyway, at some point she was on the cover of Rolling Stone, so she must have done something right. Meanwhile, her bi-level haircut makes me uncomfortable.

 

 

 

 

 

This Week's Hip New Slang Word or Phrase
LBBT/skullet - Take your pick, they both describe a dude who's bald on top but rocking some mangy drapage in the back.

Origin - While LBST is long in back and short on top, LBBT is long in back and bald on top. And skullet is a sweet variation of mullet. LBBT is pronounced "libbit."

Usage - "Dude, your uncle and his coug are here."

"Dude, quick, hide the zither, once he gets tinkering away on that thing, there's no stopping him."

"Sound good, dude. I may be able to take the zither away from him, but no one can take away that sweet LBBT he is rocking."

"Dude, his coug is a skullet queen."

 

This Week's Top Ten List
The Top Ten Things That Qualify For "Two Other Forms Of ID":

10. Fantasy Video "Spanktrovision Weekend Fun Pass"
09. A notarized photo of you and any living member of the cast of WKRP In Cincinnatti
08. A short crow hop followed by a full on kick to the crotch
07. "Kiss Army" membership card, as long as it's accompanied by original introductory letter from Gene Simmons
06. Recent polaroid entries into Hustler's "Beaver Hunt" contest
05. A photo of you and your dad, and he's holding up his ID and pointing to you and giving the thumbs up to indicate that you are indeed his offspring
04. That phony passport you made out of your old used up check register
03. DVD copy of viral internet video you made of you and your friends chugging vinegar and snorting baking soda while a local judge cheered you on and yelled "He's the real deal!"
02. Any of your various Laser Tag certificates of participation
01. Creepy hostage-like photo of you tied naked to a series of large pipes with today's USA Today crammed in your mouth

 

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