Gome of the Week
Apparently there are people who think they are going to prove/disprove the existence of God through the comment forums on YouTube. If there is a hell, there will be a VIP area roped off for these morons. I'm usually pretty easy going (not true), but seriously, if you find yourself typing the phrase "dogmatic principles" into a comment box on a YouTube video of some dipshits on Fox News at 2PM on a Tuesday, you should probably kill yourself.
This Week's Link That's Probably Not That Great
Ron Kittle - Ron builds benches out of his old game bats now. And he's got a clothing line in the works. Wow.
This Week's Movie You've Probably Never Seen
American Hardcore (2006)
I had high hopes for this documentary and was not disappointed. It basically follows the advent of hardcore punk from '79 with Black Flag to '83 when things started to go awry. It is really well done and features current and past interviews from all of the bands that took place in the scene. What is unique about this flick is it doesn't just focus on California or DC for once, but rather a time frame, and covers the leaders of every major scene across the US. The footage of long-haired Rollins assaulting crowd members is worth the rental price alone. A great movie about one of my favorite times in music.
This Week's Record You're Probably Not Listening To
High Inergy - Turnin' On (1977)
Bargain bins beware: I have some time on my hands and possibly up to twenty dollars in expendable cash. So, my foray continues. Did you like the Pointer Sisters but always kind of wished they had an additional member and way shittier songs? Well, here you go. When it comes to bland soul pop with recycled melodies, these ladies can't be beat. Official parenthetical title count? 3: "You Can't Turn Me Off (In The Middle of Turning Me On)," "Searchin' (I've Got To Find My Love)," and "Ain't No Love Left (In My Heart For You)."
This Week's Hip New Slang Word or Phrase
Krukish - A phrase used to describe a male or female who bears resemblance to former Phillies great John Kruk.
Origin - It came to me as a vision in a puddle of chew spit.
Usage - "Dude, I take our bromance seriously."
"Dude, me too. What's the Dio, Ronnie James?"
"Dude, it's about your coug. She's looking a wee bit Krukish."
"Dude. Wait. Kruk now, or Kruk in 1988?"
"Dude, you got that right. Now I must saddle up and coug forward."
This Week's Top Ten List
The Top Ten Things Not To Say During a Job Interview:
10. "My biggest weakness? Porn, mostly. Hardcore gay amateur porn."
09. "And that's when I invented the Taintscrubber. Patent pending."
08. "Felony is such an ugly term. Let's call it a blood soaked whoopsie daisy."
07. "Anybody ever tell you you're quite Krukish?"
06. "Yeah that sounds like something my old boss would say. She's still trying to get child support out of me. Good luck!"
05. "No, I can't take too much credit. I wasn't a founding member of NAMBLA, just a regular ol' member."
04. "Fired, forcibly removed by a team of police, let's not split hairs here."
03. "Let's skip the formalities. You need a historian and I'm wearing a monocle. Good enough for you?"
02. "Yes, my foundation gave away a lot of money. You might even say we philanthro-pissed it away. What? No Good?"
01. "That's right, from 1988-1993 I was King Shit of Fuck Mountain. Ah, those were the days."
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