Gome of the Week
The Juice is no longer loose.










This Week's Link That's Probably Not That Great
Star Wars Trivia - Interactive quiz where the questions are read by super mega nerds.



This Week's Movie You've Probably Never Seen
R-Point (2004)

I think that South Korea may be the movie equivalent of, of, of some other place where only good things happen. Like Portland music in 1996. Like that. I have yet to see a South Korean film that is short of phenomenal. This film is no different. It is the type of horror movie where the pace is slow but always slightly ominous. The characters are very well thought out and the scary parts and super creepy scary. Basically a small army unit is sent to a remote location after another unit, who have been missing for months, begins sending radio calls for "help." Creepiness ensues. The ending is intense.

Love, Biff.










This Week's Record You're Probably Not Listening To
Tomita - Live at Linz, 1984: The Mind of the Universe (1985)

Yes, I just keep buying old records on the cheap. This one is pretty sweet, a futuristic classical piece that, if it's really live, is pulled off insanely well. Crazy blips and hits all over the place. Some of the tunes are easily recognizable, while others are buried deep in the uncut grass of left field. Turns out it's a great instrumental album to work on the computer to.




This Week's Hip New Slang Word or Phrase
you've been in more gay porn than Simon Rex - A sweet burn.

Origin - Simon Rex. And his gay porn career.

Usage - "Dude, you are a true trump teez stallion of the highest degree."

"Dude, I am no stranger to sarcasm. Please refrain from dissing me in front of my coug."

"Dude, just lay back and enjoy the burnage."

"Dude, maybe it is you that should be feeling the burnage. When you urinate. Because, if I remember correctly, you have been in more gay porn than Simon Rex."

"Wow, you really turned the burnage tables on me just then. Well played."


This Week's Top Ten List
The Top Ten Things Signs Things Aren't Going Your Way:

10. Someone breaks into your Chevette and steals the Sony Walkman and Radio Shack headphones you had duct taped into the hole where your stolen 8-track player used to be
09. You win 2 bucks with a scratch-off ticket and the clerk at the mini-mart won't cash it in because he says the cash winnings aren't redeemable if you "clearly suck at life"
08. You went to a taping of Oprah and when she told you to look under your seat for a sweet prize, you looked and there was a rabid, hungry mongoose, waiting to strike
07. You met this guy and you thought he said "Come this way, boss, I'll give you a shirt" but what he really said was "I can't wait to knock your dick in the dirt." And then he did some dick dirt-knocking. And took your shirt.
06. Your last name is Von Erich and it's the early to mid 90's
05. You meet a guy and he asks you if you want "a cool, refreshing golden shower." You say yes, and then ask him why he has a tarp on the floor in the middle of his living room. Just lay back and relax, he says
04. You get wrapped up in a pyramid scheme, only to find out that, and get this, there never was an actual pyramid in the first place
03. You use the word "supposebly" and I call you out on it in front of a large group of people who, up to this point respected you. The next day you are quietly and respectfully fired from society.
02. You go to the grocery store and get the cart with the bad wheel. In the frozen food section it spirals out of control and kills three
01. You're this dude


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