Gome of the Week
Give it a rest, man.
This Week's Link That's Probably Not That Great
Star Wars Personality Test - I'm Darth Vader.
This Week's Movie You've Probably Never Seen
I wanted to like this a lot more than I did. I really did. It's actually a very well made movie, it's just kind of, I don't know, slow. Monster movie nerds will still enjoy it, though. It also has the Marvel stamp of approval. Of course so did the original Fantastic Four movie. And the new Fantastic Four movie. That movie blew. Who wanted to see The Commish as The Thing? Apparently whiteys.
This Week's Record You're Probably Not Listening To
Novo Combo - The Animation Generation (1982)
One of my other dollar bin Ranch Records finds. This is the best picture I could find. I think "Follow the Love" is my favorite cut.
This Week's Hip New Slang Word or Phrase
the three pointer - When you almost, but don't actually achieve penetration with a girl and she gets pregnant anyway.
Origin - Props to Coonfield.
Usage - "Dude, I'm frus. I was giving this girl the brumsky last night and things quickly got strange."
"Didn't you move effortlessly to taintalingus?"
"I did, but then before I could actually take my place at the helm of the bobsled, I got a little too excited..."
"And now she's drinking for two?"
"Yup. Three pointer, ay?"
This Week's Top Ten List
The Top Ten Ways To Start A Conversation About the Birds & Bees With Your Son:
10. "Now, I don't want to brag son, but over the course of my life, I've been privileged to have banged a lot of beaver."
09. "Here's a collection of Letters to Penthouse. This should tell you all you need to know, and what to realistically expect."
08. "They say nothing is forever, but try and tell that to my herpes. Wear a jimmy hat."
07. "When you meet that special lady, you'll have to decide for yourself when the time is right to request an intimate evening of ball cupping."
06. "Here, hold this overly ripe cantaloupe and drop your pants. We've got some work to do."
05. "Son, there seem to be an inordinate amount of crusty socks under your bed."
04. "There's three things to remember when buffing a taint."
03. "On a first date, always try to work the phrase 'mutual pubic shave' into the conversation."
02. "The chili dog - It's not just for dinner anymore."
01. "Speedbagging, teabagging, it's all sacktastic when you're bagging babes."
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