Gome of the Week
Ashlee Simpson:

So. Fucking. Talented.








This Week's Link That's Probably Not That Great
Spatula City - Funny times.



This Week's Movie You've Probably Never Seen
Series 7: The Contenders (2001)

A sweet satire about the insane popularity of reality shows in the last five or so years, this is a lost gem that continues to be underrated, even three years after its release.

Starring the "lotion in the basket" lady from Silence of the Lambs, this is a tale of seven folks who are sent out in a city to kill each other, with the last one alive declared the winner.

Needless to say, madness ensues, along with a good old fashioned neighborhood bloodbath.

Watch this one with your toddler.







This Week's Record You're Probably Not Listening To
Local H - Whatever Happened to P.J. Soles? (2004)

Everyone likes to hate on the Local H, but goldarn it, I still like 'em. If nothing else, they've become one of the most reliable bands in modern rock, continuing to put out albums that are consistent and never sporadic.

Nothing new here, but that's a good thing. If it ain't broke, they ain't fixing it.

One of the original two-piece rock and/or roll outfits that don't suck.




This Week's Hip New Slang Word or Phrase
illy corgan - Something that used to be sweet but now sucks. See also: illy joe robidoux, illy bob thornton.

Origin - I had a dream that biff and his lady were saying it while we were driving around. Clearly, it doesn't make much sense. That's why.

Usage - "Dude, that yahtzee I was with last night wanted me to take her to that new Eddie Murphy movie
where he talks to all those inanimate objects. I'm frus."

"Dude, taint no thing. Just take her to the new Wayan Bros. project."

"Dude, it's the lesser of two illy corgans."



This Week's Top Ten List
The Top Ten Things I've Accomplished Now That Summer's Halfway Over:

10. Slept in four different rooms in my apartment
09. Freefall jumped from my bed to the floor
08. Worked in a small room without air conditioning, proceeded to sweat buckets
07. Made an instant breakfast with beer in it
06. Wrapped various fruits in bacon
05. Tried to get a job at the mall Orange Julius so I could hang with highschool girls
04. Drank water until I could literally hear the ocean that was my stomach
03. I rapped, I rapped, I rappity rap rap rapped
02. Hid all my pants
01. I've thrown many a 'bow, yo