Gome of the Week
We still think the Oscars mean something?
I know I'm a couple weeks late on this one, but I've been stewing about it. If it had anything to do with the movies, it shouldn't really matter who designed the dresses. Is Joan Rivers going to admit that she's a robot soon? Just peel the mask off.
Yes, Halle Berry and Jennifer Connelly joined the ranks of other extremely talented Oscar champs like Kim Basinger and Cuba Gooding Jr., who have gone on to become heroes to all of us.
I guess Halle had to thank her lawyer twice in her speech because that's how many times he had to help her get out of the hit and run charges she was facing.
Good times, good people, unbelievable talent.
This Week's Link That's Probably Not That Great
Official Ninja Website - Pretty damn funny. You just have to check it out, I'm not going to bother explaining it.
This Week's Movie You've Probably Never Seen
The Mary Tyler Moore Show, vol. 7 (1995)
Oh boy oh boy oh boy! It's the best of The Mary Tyler Moore Show, volume 7. It's full of antics and hijinks and all that sweet shit.
Of course, each episode is based around some sort of miscomunication or mix up and it usually involves Mary's love life. That part's cool, because Mary is hot, so you can understand why these guys with big hair and no personalities fall for her.
Also good: Ted Knight and the size of Ed Asner's ties. They're F-ing huge.
This Week's Record You're Probably Not Listening To
H.E.A.L. - Civilization vs. Technology (1991)
A tremendously bizarre compilation album that was promoting being nice to each other or something like that.
H.E.A.L. stands for Human Education Against Lies, and the album features mostly old-school rappers like Kid Capri and Ms. Melodie, but it may also be the only album where you can hear Michael Stipe and KRS-ONE do a song together. Weird.
Also making an appearance: A young Freddie Foxxx.
This Week's Hip New Slang Word or Phrase
Dude, weak. - An apt response to a weak comment.
Origin - Baseketball. The funniest film that you don't like.
Usage - "Dude, the feta cheese on this pizza tastes kind of rotten."
"Yeah, kind of like your sister last night."
This Week's Top Ten List
The Top Ten Things People Typed into Google This Week That Took Them to Our Site:
10. "Andrew Coonfield"
09. "Lyrics to Psyched Out by Supersuckers"
08. "Gopher Pictures"
07. "Mr. Show Taint"
06. "Jiminy Glick guitar intro"
05. "John Daly all my wear Rolexes"
04. "Choad Taint Steel Vagina"
03. "Dracula spatula Bakula"
02. "Sizurp recipe"
01. "Porno Names Hump Friction"