Gome of the Week
I can't believe there's a show with a talking baby.
Has it really come to this? I have to once again proudly state that I have not actually viewed the show in question, but doesn't this add to the slew of apocalyptic theories that have been floating around as of late?
The best part: people fucking love it
This Week's Link That's Probably Not That Great
Frank Stallone Fansite - Holy crap. A pretty comprehensive look at his career, specifically his work in the fine art of walking in someone's shadow.
This Week's Movie You've Probably Never Seen
Kitty Love! (1996)
Get ready to open your hearts, it's Kitty Love. Oh, these little piss factories are just adorable! Watch them as they tumble around with each other and cause all kinds of havoc!
When they busted out the yarn ball towards the end I thought I was going to pitch a tent. I was so goddamned excited!
From the back: "Features: Sleepers, Blindside tackles, Bullies, Birdwatchers, Swats and Wigglers."
If my cat was not fixed, this would be porn.
This Week's Record You're Probably Not Listening To
Big Daddy Kane - Daddy's Home (1994)
That's right, BDK one more time. I just picked this record up a few weeks ago and it does nothing less than beat serious ass. It's full of Kane's trademark wit and one liners that make any other MC want to take a nap.
Also features a really weird song with Shyheim, Jay-Z, and ODB that is confusing but smoother than Kane's silk drawers. Of course, ODB kicks lines that appear on other releases.
Long live the Kane.
This Week's Hip New Slang Word or Phrase
ham-hocked - Really drunk.
Origin- Glasgow, Scotland.
Usage: "Dude, I can't believe you busted your cherryoke last night!"
"Dude, I can't believe you sucked on that coug's tittoo last night."
"Dude, we were ham-hocked."
This Week's Top Ten List
The Top Ten Reasons Why the CAC Will Never Get A Write Up in The Portland Mercury:
10. Our pants rest neatly on our shoes, not our ankles.
09. Strict hair cleansing regimen: At least twice a week.
08. Haven't played the Blackbird(yet).
07. Don't claim to "burn a bowl" or "take a tab" and then "stream of consciousness freestyle."
06. Not an improv band with a horn player.
05. Not from the surrounding area, actually from the area.
04. Even though no one's heard of CAC, still somehow not obscure enough.
03. T-shirts: purchased at thrift store, but nowhere near tight enough.
02. Too serious, not serious enough.
01. None of our friends work there.