03.10.02

Gome of the Week
Of course, I've never actually seen an episode of Boston Public, so I'm just deducing that it sucks based on the commercials that they run during The Simpsons.

This is a very exciting high school. I think Michael Rappaport got fired last week for using the N word and now this week, the Star Trek hottie has to stop a girl from posing in a barely legal porn magazine.

Yes, every week it's a "very special" episode "you won't want to miss."

Check out how serious this dude is. It's chilling.

 

 

This Week's Link That's Probably Not That Great
IUMA - A site that the CAC will soon be listed on, and a great place to find out how crappy most musicians are. You can go through and download songs by unsigned artists and read how those same people describe themselves and their music. I can't get enough of it.

 

This Week's Movie You've Probably Never Seen
Continental Divide (1981)

I don't know who Blair Brown is, but I guess at some point she was famous enough to star in a film with John Belushi.

This film came dangerously close to cancelling Belushi's career, and it's called Continental Divide. Maybe it wasn't in his best interest to try and do a romantic comedy, especially one that sucks as bad as this.

He's from the city, she's from the country, they eventually hump, whatever.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

This Week's Record You're Probably Not Listening To
Various Artists - Twisted Willie (1996)

I bought this because the Supersuckers are on it, but the rest of it is quite good too.

It's a lot of Seattle groups, but what the hey, they all cover classic Willie Nelson tunes and do it quite well.

Highlight track- Gas Huffer doing "I Gotta Get Drunk."

Nice, Willie.

 

 

This Week's Hip New Slang Word or Phrase
tittoo -A tattoo on a woman's breast.

Origin- I read it in some grrrl rag, but I think everybody says it.

Usage- "Dude, remember that coug that was hitting on me over by the
VP machine?"

"Big time cougar, dude."

"Yeah, well, dude, she just took her coat off and she's got a tittoo."

"Dude, she has the true markings of a coug."

 

 

 

 

 

This Week's Top Ten List
Matt Fargo's top ten things on TV in Japan:

10. this guy who's talent is getting butt-naked and doing handstands and then letting people throw baseballs at him. he takes a 90 mph fastball in the bare ass without falling over. headshots too.
9. this show where they see who take take the clothes off of a pretty model one-handed, the fastest, and the smoothest. laughs and nudity all around.
8. this guy who's talent is rolling himself down concrete public stairwells and hurting himself while smiling the whole time.
7. "Mr. Sparkle" brand detergent. it is apparently "most disrespectful to dirt."
6. commercials with kevin costner speaking in a robust male japanese voice about how Maxim-brand coffee has made him the sensitive artist that he is. phew.
5. this guy who's talent is playing goalkeeper while several people simultaneous kick flaming soccerballs at him until his hair catches on fire and he gives up. smiling the whole time, of course.
4. commercials which nobody knows what they are for, but everyone still strangely enjoys, and sings snatches of, later, in the shower, unconsciously.
3. this guy who's talent is being a really fat ex-sumo wrestler and naked and putting on a helmet and running as fast as he can down a grassy knoll into a brick wall so that we, the audience, can appreciate the delicate manner in which his fat absorbs the shock. it goes without saying that he is smiling.
2. japanese pop stars in heavy metal outfits and kiss makeup, dancing hip-hop dances while singing something that is vaguely country-western in genre.
1. pokemon--hands down.