Gome of the Week
To the guy who stole my smokes last night:
You come into my bar, you're wearing the same silver shirt you always sport with your plucked eyebrows and your mascara, and on top of grabbing my ass before you leave, when I wasn't looking you grabbed my brand new pack of American Spirits which I had just opened and you walk out the door with them.
Do me a favor and change your glittery blouse and don't ever come into my place of employment and touch the heiny again.
This Week's Link That's Probably Not That Great
Horror Movies That Suck - This guy misses the mark a little bit(don't put The Fast and the Furious on your top ten list, dude) but he does review Nude for Satan and Route 666 starring Lou Diamond Phillips so we'll give it up to him.
This Week's Movie You've Probably Never Seen
Dr. Caligari (1989)
(The Films of John Durbin in 1989, Part II)
I've heard people say that you can tell if a movie is good by the previews that run before it. Well, before Dr. Caligari they show the trailers for Def by Temptation starring Kadeem Hardison(Dwayne Wayne) and Frankenhooker.
This movie is supposedly a "cult comedy" but it's not exactly funny. It's not exactly anything. The opening scene involves a topless woman getting her wrist slit by a crash test dummy who springs out of a bubble bath brandishing a razor blade. And, it just goes from there. I enjoy a good abstract art house film, but holy shit.
It's an hour and a half of dialogue that doesn't make any sense, most of it having to do with orgasms and multiple orgasms and probing and there seems to be a lot of tongues and open wounds running through the course of the film.
From the back of the box: "Sigmund Freud is turning somersaults in his grave over this doctor's demented diagnosis." Nice try.
This Week's Record You're Probably Not Listening To
Lordz of Brooklyn - All in the Family (1995)
It's the crazy L-O-Beeah and it's their pizzeria. The crazy white boys from the Brooklyn block dropped this album and then they took a lot of time off. They are starting to resurface now, finally, and they're hooking up with Freddie Foxxx and kicking some ass.
If you've never heard this record, you're missing out on some classic cuts that are now pretty hard to find. An out of print album that should still be in circulation.
This Week's Hip New Slang Word or Phrase
untight - something that is not tight.
Usage - "Dude, I thought you were going to the movies with Jennie tonight."
"Dude, she wanted to go see Crossroads."
"Dude, that is severely untight."
This Week's Top Ten List
Brad's Top Ten favorite Mr. Show Sketches:
09. "Asshole at Party"
07. "Rap-The Musical"
06. "Drunk COPS"
05. "Blame-A-Thon/Fartin' Gary"
02. "Promotion, Promotion...Fired"
01. "Up Your Mother's Ass"