Gome of the Week
This is the worst time of year. The Superbowl is one week away, which means it's time for everyone to care way too much about something they are not even close to being directly involved in. It's also time for me to ask the ever important question: "Who's playing in the Superbowl?" Because I honestly have no idea.

If I want to watch guys in tight pants roll around with each other I'll rent Summerslam '89.

When does spring training start?



This Week's Link That's Probably Not That Great
Ronnie Dobbs - The official website of the most long-awaited film of all time. While you're there, link to Bob and David's website and jump for joy that they're actually going to put Mr. Show out on DVD.

I'll call Taint Magazine and let them know.



This Week's Movie You've Probably Never Seen
Death Feud (1987)

Hold on to your mullets, it's Death Feud starring Frank Stallone and Christopher Mitchum, two guys who are related to people with careers.

This movie was so bad that even eroc the white mystery had trouble getting through it, which is saying a lot.

"Alone they're dangerous. Together they're a crap fest."

From the back of the box: "79.95 list price"

Cancel two careers- wait, scratch that, we can't find any record of their careers existing.






This Week's Record You're Probably Not Listening To
The Dismemberment Plan - Change (2001)

Ready, set, let's get emo. But not too emo. These guys are from DC and they have a really interesting thing going on.

I got tired of reading about them so I went and bought the damn thing. Smarter than most sensitive rock out there.

He cares, but what the fuck.





This Week's Hip New Slang Word or Phrase
nails - Used to describe an attractive member of the opposite sex.

Origin - probably frat guys.

Usage - "Dude, have you seen Maxine since she lost weight?"

"Dude, she's nails."

"Damn straight. Pass me a Natty Light."



This Week's Top Ten List
The Top Ten Rejected Johnny Wockenfuss Aliases:

10. Braddy the Pimp
09. Johnny Glockenfuss
08. Doctor Crunkenstein
07. B-Dog tha Ditch Digga
06. Todd
05. The Divine Smiler
04. MC Premoistened Towelette
03. Oral B
02. Ed Halicki
01. DJ Pleasure Pistol