Gome of the Week
I think the Fresh Prince was on to something when he said that girls of the world ain't nothin' but trouble.
Don't get me wrong, I'm not trying to wax mysogynistic on that ass, I'm just jaded and bitter and venting on the internet like a true loser. Yes, there's no revenge like internet revenge.
To all the nice girls: Johnny Wockenfuss wants to spoon with you as long as he can be the big spoon.
To all the mean girls: You'll get yours. On the ricochet, it's gonna hit you. It's always funny until someone gets hurt.
This Week's Link That's Probably Not That Great
Queer Horror - Anything and everything you might want to know about the genre of gay horror movies. Includes great information about The Curse of the Queerwolf, one of the greatest movies of all time.
This Week's Movie You've Probably Never Seen
Chasing Amy (1997)
Jesus, if I don't go over to Mystery's house and get some really obscure movies soon......... Anyway, here's another one that you've all seen. I guess the question here, is have you seen the DVD version? If not, check it out and realize that Chasing Amy was a much funnier movie when it was originally shot than it ended up being.
The deleted scenes on the DVD are classic Kevin Smith and made me feel relieved that the movie was not intended to be as over the top and cheesy as it came off as. My only real complaint about this film? Not enough Jay and Silent Bob. Bitch, you're schooling no one.
This Week's Record You're Probably Not Listening To
Big Daddy Kane - It's A Big Daddy Thing (1989)
I don't know why, but I have been listening to this record a lot lately. I miss the old school days of rap, I guess. I'm talking about the days when Prince Paul used to produce songs on pretty much everybody's album, and there was always a song where the DJ just scratched for 3 minutes.
"Pimpin Ain't Easy" is great track about sexual intercourse, and "Calling Mr. Welfare" is a semi-sympathetic song about girls who get knocked up when they can't afford to have babies.
Long live the Kane.
This Week's Hip New Slang Word or Phrase
mode - A word used to describe an insult given from one individual to another.
Origin- My friends from California say it, I've never heard anyone say it here. There is also a running argument that it's "mold" instead of "mode."
Usage- "Man, you suck like a Hoover vacuum."
"Dude, consider me moded. That was a good mode."
This Week's Top Ten List
Sly Records' Top 10 New Year's Resolutions:
10. Cutdown intake of bathtub crank from 4 lines a day to two.
09. Continue to sniff said bathtub crank off of strippers' asses.
08. Become either "media darlings" or "media whores". Either one satisfies our agenda.
07. Convince CAC to release their early 1992 demo entitled "Twerk Dat Taint," recorded under the name "Johnny One-Nut & Steve".
06. Trade Phish boots for Ratdog DATs.
05. Continue to make top ten lists comparing things to gay pornography.
04. Less teabagging, more speedbagging.
03. Make sure to record video footage of the crank snorting off of the stripper's asses, for the upcoming CAC segment in the next "Backstage Sluts" home video.
02. Play show with D'Angelo and Tyrese, politely ask them to wear a goddamned shirt.
01. Record CAC song for USA charities entitled "Osama's My Bitch, I'm His Pimp, and He Better Have My Skrilla, or I'm a Beat His Ass 4 Rilla."